Fields of Nozzles - Part 25

"HAHAHAHA!!!" he laughed ironically, "what" said tom, petrified, "i have some friends who would love to meet you" he answered,
"who?" shouted joe, quite irate, just then from the third field came an enormous noise, and a huge rush of air hit joe and the guys as they stood, rooted to the spot, there rose the spacecraft, and it tore up the entire field, as it hovered above the farmhouse,
"what now" said suz, "we run" said arthur, legging it down the road, just then the craft began to open, and out came what looked like a long hosepipe, "fuck!! a gun" said tom throwing himself to the ground, as the craft opened fire and hit suz square in the face,
totally tearing it off!, "uuuuuurrrRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" wailed luke, from inside as his head began to split open and tenticles began to rip through his body, "my god" screamed emma, "its not luke after all" so as luke ripped right open, and revealed himself as zontos, "yes thats right you fools, how did you not guess" "well i had my suspicions" replied joe in an important voice,

back at the pub rob was trying in vain to fight the fire single handedly, "well come on damn you" he said throwing buckets wildly,
"well i would, but i've got a cup of tea in my hand" replied arthur, sipping loudly, so everyone pitched in and tried to smother the flames, it was hot work and after many hours they began to loose heart, "accept it rob, its over mate" said jeni sadly.
"yes i guess your right" replied rob, slowly beginning to weep, "come on lets get back to the farmhouse" said debbie, quietly,
so they all began to make their way back to the farmhouse, when they arrived, all hell had broken loose!
"what the hell is going on here" said james, astonished, there was lasers fireing, and rubble all over the place, plus several casualties, including julia, reena and charlotte, "my god where are the others" said rii, "over here" shouted a voice from one of the barns, "come on, lets see whats up" said rob puffing on his last fag!!

inside the barn, there huddled was julia p, tom, jess and joe, "quickly get in here" shouted jess, so everyone ran inside, followed closely by a hail of laser fire, "goodness whats happening here then" said robyn, "luke is really an alien, and has locked us out of the house" answered joe, "we have to stop him, and the others" added tom, "what about the guys outside" said viki, "surely we have to help them" yes well we would, but its too dangerous out there" said joe, "but someone must go for help" suggested jess,
"i will go" spoke up matt, standing up, "i am the fastest runner, so i should go" "yes good idea" said charlotte,
so matt put on his special running shoes, engineered by NASA, and got ready to make a run for it, "right well i will see you when i see you" he said trying to sound confident, "not if i see you first" added viki, smiling, "matt took maybe the last look at his friends, (and especially viki) and was gone, off he ran at full pelt, across the fields and over the far hedge, and into the night, ducking firepower as he went.

"now theres a brave man" said tim, "yes we owe him greatly" said joe, "gods speed to him" "right now for those aliens" said rob,
"yes but what do we do" asked jo, "just then, something came crashing through the ceiling, "it was a geezer,
"yes thats right, i am simon clark, greatest hero of them all" said the man, "oooh" said charlotte fainting, "who the hell" replied james, "i am here to save you" said simon, "now for those nasty aliens" he said jumping through the window, and running straight at the spacecraft, but skidding in the mud, he stumbled and was hit in the leg, "oh fuck that hurts" he yelled,
then an extending arm reached out of the craft, and pulled him into the spacecraft, all the youngsters could hear, were hidious screams of pain! "poor bloke, he came to save us all, but in the end all he wanted was a club sandwich" said sarah, sadly,

"this is silly, we have to do something" said jess, "yes your right, we can not wait for matt" said joe,
just then, they heard luke or zontos, yelling loudly, "quick outside" said arthur, running out the door, so everyone stormed over to the farmhouse, there through the window, they could see, luke being attacked by something, "yey for baataur" said louise,
there was baataur, mauling luke, while he tried to strangle it with his tenticles! "clash of the titans i say" said tom, quite excited by it all, so as the battle grew more and more ferocious, the door and several windows were smashed to smithereens.
"right indoors people" said joe bursting in, followed by everyone else, inside in the living room, they huddled once again on the floor
"what now" asked anna, "well first things first, we have to get reena and the others inside" replied joe,

so joe, arthur,tom and jeni, braved the invaders to rescue poor, reena and the others, but sadly it was too late for julia, who had blead to death! but charlotte and reena were not too bad, back inside everyone watched the big fight,
"come on baataur" shouted louise supportively, just then as luke tried to push baataur down the coal shoot,
baataur spun round and rammed luke through the living room wall, straight into the grand piano, "quickly why hes down" shouted debbie picking up a pickaxe, "yes to the ends of the earth" shouted james hurling a mallet, so debbie ran towards luke and smashed the pickaxe straight through lukes back, he slumped to the ground! "wehey for debs" screamed alion,
"yes to a brave young girl" said tom, cracking open a bottle of wine, "nows not the time for such things" said joe, in a somewhat anal voice,

meanwhile outside, the alien craft was tearing the farm to peices, "right enough is a enough" said james grabbing a bread nife,
"we must do something" "yes i agree" said alion, so lead by debbie and her now infamous pickaxe, everyone piled outside to face the craft, just then matt returned, "fear not i have brought help" he said puffing after a nine mile run, in 17.05 minutes,
"who have you brought?" asked alion, "i have brought simon freeman" matt replied, "and how can you help us" said charlotte, bleeding everywhere, and looking at simon, "i have brought this" he replied pulling out a courgette!! "and i will crush these foe single courgettedly" he said swinging left right and center, "good, lets do it" said rob chewing on a huge bit of grisle, and swinging a chairleg, so as they approached, a door opened in the side of the craft, and a long platform begun to reach out of it towards the ground, "fuck run" said julia p, running off the edge of a cliff, "aaaarrrrrrggggg" she screamed as she plummeted to her death!!

so as the platform reached the ground, strange neil sadaka looking beings came out of the craft, and begun to line up for war in the dim darkness of night, looking in the shadows like wormy little dwarfs, "well here gos nothing" said joe, walking up to the beings,
"come on then" he shouted, while throwing bottles and cafe chairs at them, "wow hes good" said jo c,
"it all gos back to his days as a member of the football hooligans society of britain" replied susie, "right well hes not gonna have all the fun" said debbie tearing over the field, like some warlike elf! "right lets go lads" said tom, wearing his 1st world war officers uniform, as people begun to utter a prayer or write letters to their loved ones, most of which they would never see again,
so as tom put his whistle to his lips, and shouted FREEEEEDOOOOOOM!!!!...... "BEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!"
"come on" said james clambering out of the trench, but being struck down after about 5 yards!

"AAAAAAAARARRRRRRRRR" everyone shouted as they ran out of the trench, and legged it full pelt across the battlefield,
"enter the fucking dragon" screamed joe as he hacked down aliens all over the place, as rob came up to a being and said,
"see this, this is my favourite table leg, look at my eyes, look at my fucking eyes" alion was using a neon light saber, that kat had bought her for her last birthday, and debbie was creating havoc with her pickaxe, it was grim stuff, but they were fighting a loosing battle, as more and more neil sadakas came piling out of the craft, "damn you, damn you all" shouted simon taking aliens heads off with his courgette, so in the darkness as bodys fell, and screams were heard for miles around, joe took a swing at who was probably the leader, but missed and found himself trying to dodge out of the way of laser blasts but was beginning to flag,
"quick someone, joes in trouble" shouted jess over the din of war, tearing towards him, but was stopped dead by an alien, "get out of my way you nonce" she said smacking him in the face with a large wet hake! "JOOOOOOOOEEE" said alion as everyone saw him fall towards the ground "AAAARRRRRRGggggggg.........................................................................................................................................
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dawn. as the sun slowly rose, tom and alion, walked the battlefield, "is there anyone out there" called out tom,
"over here" called a familier voice. it was robyn lying in the mud with an arm missing, "oh my god, are you ok?" said alion,
"i'll live i guess" just then rob bowled over, "hey guys, is this all of you, jeni and jo are over by that tree" "we haven't found anyone else yet" replied tom sadly, "have you seen jess" "no sorry" replied rob solomnly, "i'm sure she's ok" said alion putting her hand on his shoulder, "i need a little help here people" called a high pitched voice, "DEBBIE!" alion screamed excitedly, running towards the voice, there lay debs still clutching her pickaxe, but missing a few fingers and a few hairs,
so after many hours, it was clear there were no more survivers, except reena, who dispite her terrible wounds returned to battle and survived!! but on the bright side all the aliens were dead, and baatuar was cooking them all breakfast,
"well i guess we start all over again" said jo, "yes we will prefail!" said debbie, "mmm" said tom, looking very sad indeed,
"and i will rebuild the pub" said rob, "and open a kebab shop" "yes and we will finish the darts competition" said alion,
"altho we have no rii and no joe" said jeni, "well come on people, lets have some breakfast" said rob, opening a tennents,
"yes i guess we should"........................................................................................................



THE END


after the battle the eight remaining friends went there seperate ways,
in 2037, the norfolk police discovered in a large clearing
the remains of a massive farmhouse and farm, and in on of the fields discovered a strange object,
whatever it was, the united states airforce and the FBI are investigating.
several bodys were also found including those of jess mcmullen and emily pyke,
to this day no-one knows what happened to joe,
his body was never recovered!!..........





form 2001 to present
reena became a renound brain surgeon, and in 2021 married a rich oil dealer.
alion joined the R.A.F but was fired three years later for being drunk while in charge of a helicopter.
tom worked from home as a mokoson adviser, and in 2005 started the jess remorial research charity.
jo married, and wrote novels about all the adventures she and her friends had had those warm summer days.
robs lawyer firm closed down shortly after, he then signed on the dole, and to this day sits in the pub drinking exrta strong
cider, telling his storys, and how he could of played for Q.P.R
jeni moved to bolivia and in 2013 joined their national front.
robyn started a pen factory, but went bust in 2005, and then went into the bribery racket,but was jailed
in 2010 and is currently serving a 25 years to life prison sentence.
debbie moved to australia, to start her own marine research company,
but was caught trying to evade tax paying, and was exiled to iceland where she now lives in a small cave dwelling.