Fiels of Nozzles - Part 23

"arrr its so cute" said debbie smiling, "well i think we should burn it and burn its face first, i love being king" said james,
"now now, lets all calm down people" said joe, "first things first, i'm gonna call my lawyer" "yes good idea" said alion agreeably, "right back in a sec" said joe in an important voice, so while joe rang rob,(fatbob) everyone stared in disbelief,
"well lets kill louise,anyway" said james, "no, no killing" said jess disaprovingly, "well" said joe coming back in,
"rob is on his way" "oh good" said alion lighting up, "now for some lunch"

so when everyone had eaten, and arthur had thrown up some old boot polish, there was a knock at the door,
"ar that will be rob" said joe, striding to the door, "hey" said rob bowling in, with a b&h hanging from his mouth, and a can of tennants in his hand, "got any kebabs?" he asked, stroking his belly, "yes come this way" said alion leading the way,
"tea?"offered jo, "oh yes please" replied rob, "now" he said, opening his breifcase, "wheres this baataur?"
"hey easy tiger, thats my son" said wilko, "ar i see, how convenient" replied rob, opening another can,
"heres your kebab" said alion walking in, "and your tea sir" added jo, handing it over", "good good" said rob,
so after rob had eaten 3 kebabs and drunk 4 cans of tennants, it was time to see the "beast" upstairs everyone convened in louises master bedroom, "now what to do with this thing" said joe, looking worried, "well can it speak" asked rob,
"can i speak, can i f*#k" replied the baataur, "so you can" answered suz looking confused, "ar you've sussed me" replied the baataur,

"well for now, we will keep him in the attic" said joe wisely, so when things were discussed and baataur was banished to the attic, it was time to bury scott, susie and catherine, plus mark and ellie, in a mass grave, "now who will take the service?" asked joe, in all seriousness, "sod this for a laugh, lets just chuck them in" said julia p, kicking scott down the grave wall,
"ok" said joe, "shovels people" so when they had buried them, it was time to eat, and then continue the darts comp,
"so who owns the pub now?" asked anna looking quite worried, "ar well" said rob opening yet another breifcase, this one full of fiftys, "well thats that sorted" said joe satisfied, so when they had opened up, and had a few beers, it was time for quarter final no1, debbie and joe verses jess and tom, "now this time we will win, said tom determined, "yes" agreed jess, flexing,

meanwhile carlos was looking at his wounds in the corner, "ar that looks bad" said bex, "you are very kind" replied carlos,
just then emily came in, "i have to go away" she sobbed, "my mother is very unwell, and i have to see her"
"oh thats terrible" said julia, "yes, i will return tho, i hope very soon" so emily went home to pack and prepare a horse, with viki
meanwhile carlos was feeling bad, "maybe i should go with her" he said looking guilty, "no don't worry about it" said bex,
she said she wanted to have a break from you anyway, she said it was the voice, it grates, cuts like a knife"
"oh i see" said carlos angrily, "i'll stay and have some fun then" "yes you do that" answered bex sitting on his knee,

so while robert whacked up all the bar prices by 50%, debbie and joe, had began their match against jess and tom.
"right i'm up" said debs, striding over to the ocky, "oops" she exclaimed, as her dart flew through the window, and struck a man in the eye! "oh well" she said throwing manicly, "i'll have a pineapple, lime and lemonade please" said jess,
"ooh thats gonna cost ya" replied rob, "just serve me you nonce" replied jess, "right that'll be £6.85 please"
"bastard" jess whispered under her breath, "d&j 1set to 1" said reena loudly, as if anyone cared, "shouldn't someone clean up the basement" suggested jeni, swilling a vodka, "yes good idea" said rob, "rii, to the basement" he said smirking,

"go on have another" said bex, giving carlos another double jack daniels, "oh why not" replied carlos,"emily never let me drink"
"we win again, i think you'll find" said joe, arrogantly, "oh diddums" said jess, throwing her darts across the floor,
"now now" said joe in a cocky tone of voice, "we won fair and square" "oh get bent" replied tom, "at least i beat the rabbits"
so while bex and carlos, started arm wrestling, and rob began to put up the bar prices again,
and the next darts game got going, luke suddenly started beeping inside, "what the hell is that?" asked arthur,
"oh its just my mobile" replied luke looking shifty, "i'll just go answer it" so off went luke outside, never to return that night,
meanwhile jess was at the bar smoking a fag, "excuse me" said rob, looking very irate, "get the f#*k out of my pub"
"why what had she done?" asked joe strolling over to see the situation, "i just don't like her face, shes been pissing me off all night" replied rob, "and why are you here" he said looking at tom, "i'm drinking here" he replied looking bemused, "ok you two out now" rob shouted, so off went jess and tom, wondering what they had done, "whats up with you?" asked joe,
"they were pretending to flick ash on my bar"

so when it struck 1am, it was time to pack it in for the evening, and go home to play strip monopoly,
"right come on folks" said rii, "lets be off" back at the farmhouse, it was time for cups of tea, and a kebab or two,
"right off to bed guys" said joe sternly, "up early tomora to start the next harvest, and clean up all the wolf corpses"
so everyone went to bed, except rob, arthur and joe, whos turn it was to stayup and keep watch, just then emma came running in, "have you seen the office, its been totally ransacked!" "what" replied joe, "by who?" "i don't know" replied emma,
"but luke has disapeared again!!!!!...................


NEXT CHAPTER, EMILY RETURNS FOR A BIG SHOWDOWN!! AND DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?
PLUS JOE DISCOVERS SOME STRANGE THINGS ARE MISSING FROM HIS OFFICE, AND BAATAUR BREAKS LOOSE!!