Fields of Nozzles - Part 25

"HAHAHAHA!!!" he laughed ironically, "what" said tom, petrified, "i have some friends who would love to meet you" he answered,
"who?" shouted joe, quite irate, just then from the third field came an enormous noise, and a huge rush of air hit joe and the guys as they stood, rooted to the spot, there rose the spacecraft, and it tore up the entire field, as it hovered above the farmhouse,
"what now" said suz, "we run" said arthur, legging it down the road, just then the craft began to open, and out came what looked like a long hosepipe, "fuck!! a gun" said tom throwing himself to the ground, as the craft opened fire and hit suz square in the face,
totally tearing it off!, "uuuuuurrrRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" wailed luke, from inside as his head began to split open and tenticles began to rip through his body, "my god" screamed emma, "its not luke after all" so as luke ripped right open, and revealed himself as zontos, "yes thats right you fools, how did you not guess" "well i had my suspicions" replied joe in an important voice,

back at the pub rob was trying in vain to fight the fire single handedly, "well come on damn you" he said throwing buckets wildly,
"well i would, but i've got a cup of tea in my hand" replied arthur, sipping loudly, so everyone pitched in and tried to smother the flames, it was hot work and after many hours they began to loose heart, "accept it rob, its over mate" said jeni sadly.
"yes i guess your right" replied rob, slowly beginning to weep, "come on lets get back to the farmhouse" said debbie, quietly,
so they all began to make their way back to the farmhouse, when they arrived, all hell had broken loose!
"what the hell is going on here" said james, astonished, there was lasers fireing, and rubble all over the place, plus several casualties, including julia, reena and charlotte, "my god where are the others" said rii, "over here" shouted a voice from one of the barns, "come on, lets see whats up" said rob puffing on his last fag!!

inside the barn, there huddled was julia p, tom, jess and joe, "quickly get in here" shouted jess, so everyone ran inside, followed closely by a hail of laser fire, "goodness whats happening here then" said robyn, "luke is really an alien, and has locked us out of the house" answered joe, "we have to stop him, and the others" added tom, "what about the guys outside" said viki, "surely we have to help them" yes well we would, but its too dangerous out there" said joe, "but someone must go for help" suggested jess,
"i will go" spoke up matt, standing up, "i am the fastest runner, so i should go" "yes good idea" said charlotte,
so matt put on his special running shoes, engineered by NASA, and got ready to make a run for it, "right well i will see you when i see you" he said trying to sound confident, "not if i see you first" added viki, smiling, "matt took maybe the last look at his friends, (and especially viki) and was gone, off he ran at full pelt, across the fields and over the far hedge, and into the night, ducking firepower as he went.

"now theres a brave man" said tim, "yes we owe him greatly" said joe, "gods speed to him" "right now for those aliens" said rob,
"yes but what do we do" asked jo, "just then, something came crashing through the ceiling, "it was a geezer,
"yes thats right, i am simon clark, greatest hero of them all" said the man, "oooh" said charlotte fainting, "who the hell" replied james, "i am here to save you" said simon, "now for those nasty aliens" he said jumping through the window, and running straight at the spacecraft, but skidding in the mud, he stumbled and was hit in the leg, "oh fuck that hurts" he yelled,
then an extending arm reached out of the craft, and pulled him into the spacecraft, all the youngsters could hear, were hidious screams of pain! "poor bloke, he came to save us all, but in the end all he wanted was a club sandwich" said sarah, sadly,

"this is silly, we have to do something" said jess, "yes your right, we can not wait for matt" said joe,
just then, they heard luke or zontos, yelling loudly, "quick outside" said arthur, running out the door, so everyone stormed over to the farmhouse, there through the window, they could see, luke being attacked by something, "yey for baataur" said louise,
there was baataur, mauling luke, while he tried to strangle it with his tenticles! "clash of the titans i say" said tom, quite excited by it all, so as the battle grew more and more ferocious, the door and several windows were smashed to smithereens.
"right indoors people" said joe bursting in, followed by everyone else, inside in the living room, they huddled once again on the floor
"what now" asked anna, "well first things first, we have to get reena and the others inside" replied joe,

so joe, arthur,tom and jeni, braved the invaders to rescue poor, reena and the others, but sadly it was too late for julia, who had blead to death! but charlotte and reena were not too bad, back inside everyone watched the big fight,
"come on baataur" shouted louise supportively, just then as luke tried to push baataur down the coal shoot,
baataur spun round and rammed luke through the living room wall, straight into the grand piano, "quickly why hes down" shouted debbie picking up a pickaxe, "yes to the ends of the earth" shouted james hurling a mallet, so debbie ran towards luke and smashed the pickaxe straight through lukes back, he slumped to the ground! "wehey for debs" screamed alion,
"yes to a brave young girl" said tom, cracking open a bottle of wine, "nows not the time for such things" said joe, in a somewhat anal voice,

meanwhile outside, the alien craft was tearing the farm to peices, "right enough is a enough" said james grabbing a bread nife,
"we must do something" "yes i agree" said alion, so lead by debbie and her now infamous pickaxe, everyone piled outside to face the craft, just then matt returned, "fear not i have brought help" he said puffing after a nine mile run, in 17.05 minutes,
"who have you brought?" asked alion, "i have brought simon freeman" matt replied, "and how can you help us" said charlotte, bleeding everywhere, and looking at simon, "i have brought this" he replied pulling out a courgette!! "and i will crush these foe single courgettedly" he said swinging left right and center, "good, lets do it" said rob chewing on a huge bit of grisle, and swinging a chairleg, so as they approached, a door opened in the side of the craft, and a long platform begun to reach out of it towards the ground, "fuck run" said julia p, running off the edge of a cliff, "aaaarrrrrrggggg" she screamed as she plummeted to her death!!

so as the platform reached the ground, strange neil sadaka looking beings came out of the craft, and begun to line up for war in the dim darkness of night, looking in the shadows like wormy little dwarfs, "well here gos nothing" said joe, walking up to the beings,
"come on then" he shouted, while throwing bottles and cafe chairs at them, "wow hes good" said jo c,
"it all gos back to his days as a member of the football hooligans society of britain" replied susie, "right well hes not gonna have all the fun" said debbie tearing over the field, like some warlike elf! "right lets go lads" said tom, wearing his 1st world war officers uniform, as people begun to utter a prayer or write letters to their loved ones, most of which they would never see again,
so as tom put his whistle to his lips, and shouted FREEEEEDOOOOOOM!!!!...... "BEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!"
"come on" said james clambering out of the trench, but being struck down after about 5 yards!

"AAAAAAAARARRRRRRRRR" everyone shouted as they ran out of the trench, and legged it full pelt across the battlefield,
"enter the fucking dragon" screamed joe as he hacked down aliens all over the place, as rob came up to a being and said,
"see this, this is my favourite table leg, look at my eyes, look at my fucking eyes" alion was using a neon light saber, that kat had bought her for her last birthday, and debbie was creating havoc with her pickaxe, it was grim stuff, but they were fighting a loosing battle, as more and more neil sadakas came piling out of the craft, "damn you, damn you all" shouted simon taking aliens heads off with his courgette, so in the darkness as bodys fell, and screams were heard for miles around, joe took a swing at who was probably the leader, but missed and found himself trying to dodge out of the way of laser blasts but was beginning to flag,
"quick someone, joes in trouble" shouted jess over the din of war, tearing towards him, but was stopped dead by an alien, "get out of my way you nonce" she said smacking him in the face with a large wet hake! "JOOOOOOOOEEE" said alion as everyone saw him fall towards the ground "AAAARRRRRRGggggggg.........................................................................................................................................
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dawn. as the sun slowly rose, tom and alion, walked the battlefield, "is there anyone out there" called out tom,
"over here" called a familier voice. it was robyn lying in the mud with an arm missing, "oh my god, are you ok?" said alion,
"i'll live i guess" just then rob bowled over, "hey guys, is this all of you, jeni and jo are over by that tree" "we haven't found anyone else yet" replied tom sadly, "have you seen jess" "no sorry" replied rob solomnly, "i'm sure she's ok" said alion putting her hand on his shoulder, "i need a little help here people" called a high pitched voice, "DEBBIE!" alion screamed excitedly, running towards the voice, there lay debs still clutching her pickaxe, but missing a few fingers and a few hairs,
so after many hours, it was clear there were no more survivers, except reena, who dispite her terrible wounds returned to battle and survived!! but on the bright side all the aliens were dead, and baatuar was cooking them all breakfast,
"well i guess we start all over again" said jo, "yes we will prefail!" said debbie, "mmm" said tom, looking very sad indeed,
"and i will rebuild the pub" said rob, "and open a kebab shop" "yes and we will finish the darts competition" said alion,
"altho we have no rii and no joe" said jeni, "well come on people, lets have some breakfast" said rob, opening a tennents,
"yes i guess we should"........................................................................................................



THE END


after the battle the eight remaining friends went there seperate ways,
in 2037, the norfolk police discovered in a large clearing
the remains of a massive farmhouse and farm, and in on of the fields discovered a strange object,
whatever it was, the united states airforce and the FBI are investigating.
several bodys were also found including those of jess mcmullen and emily pyke,
to this day no-one knows what happened to joe,
his body was never recovered!!..........





form 2001 to present
reena became a renound brain surgeon, and in 2021 married a rich oil dealer.
alion joined the R.A.F but was fired three years later for being drunk while in charge of a helicopter.
tom worked from home as a mokoson adviser, and in 2005 started the jess remorial research charity.
jo married, and wrote novels about all the adventures she and her friends had had those warm summer days.
robs lawyer firm closed down shortly after, he then signed on the dole, and to this day sits in the pub drinking exrta strong
cider, telling his storys, and how he could of played for Q.P.R
jeni moved to bolivia and in 2013 joined their national front.
robyn started a pen factory, but went bust in 2005, and then went into the bribery racket,but was jailed
in 2010 and is currently serving a 25 years to life prison sentence.
debbie moved to australia, to start her own marine research company,
but was caught trying to evade tax paying, and was exiled to iceland where she now lives in a small cave dwelling.

Fields of Nozzles - Part 24

"right come on now, lets have a look" said joe, looking very worried indeed, "yes, let me just get my briefcase" said rob,
inside the office, everything had been strewn all over the floor, and all the furniture had been tipped over,
"i do hope nothing is missing" said emma, tearfull to say the least, "right lets have a look, see whats been taken" said joe in an important voice, we have to know why this was done, and if it was luke, why" "yes" agreed arthur, "we must find luke, and speak to him" " well for now we will have a sort through this lot, and tomorrow we will have to send a search party out to find him" said joe,
so emma went to bed, while the guys started looking through the mess, "interesting" wondered joe, "what" asked arthur,
"the plans for the farmhouse are missing, and the deeds for the pub" replied joe, "what would luke want with those i wonder"
said rob, stroking his chin, "maybe he wants to set up a rival nozzle farm" suggested arthur, "mm. maybe" said joe,
thinking hard, so when they had finished sorting through the office, it was time for a beer, "well it doesn't seem like anything else is missing" said joe, relieved.

so in the morning, joe broke the news to everyone, at breakfast, "so we will have to send out a search party, to try and find luke"
said joe, "yes i will be leader" added alion, "and i will be public relations officer, company psychologist and informations director"
added debbie, excitedly, "mm, yes whatever you say debbie" said joe pitifully, so when breakfast was finished and lots of tea had been had by all, it was time to clear up the wolf carcases, and start planting the new harvest, "now people" said joe, standing up and rubbing his hands together, "whos doing what" "well me, debbie, charlotte, jo c and tim are going to look fro luke" said alion,
"yeah and i'm going to open up the pub" added rob, "plus i need to get to a cash machine, and buy some salmon and trout"
"right ok, i will go start the harvest, louise come with me, and i will need 15 other people" said joe,
"everyone else, start clearing up the wolves" "right come on people" said matt, enthusiastically.

so many days passed, luke was nowhere to be found, the wolves were gone for good, the new harvest was ready to plant proper,
as soon as the right weather appeared, and emily was coming home in a few days, the final of the darts championship, was thus,
debbie and joe verses jo and rii, and rob had made peace with jess and tom, plus jess had finally given up smoking, after 9 years!!
so all was quite, louise was watching the weather like a hawk, joe was restless, thinking about luke, and those strange plans going missing, robyn and julia, kept going off to the barn? and carlos was missing emily, but bex was "comforting" him.

"well" said joe one day, at dinner, "i think we should have ntl telephone and internet axcess, installed" "oh what a good idea"
said jeni, "oh not ntl" said becca, "i hate those ntl people" "well i know they are a bit anal, but i have looked into it and they are the cheapest by far" replied joe, "so its settled i'm afraid" "oh ok" agreed becca, not sounding very convinced,
"anyway i will ring them tonight, and order it, for as soon as possible" "more tea anyone?" asked jo, holding the teapot,
"well i wouldn't say no" replied rob, "tea, toast, fag" he added, "indeed" added joe, "wheres bex, by the way" said robyn,
"i think she is feeling unwell" said julia p, "well i better see how she is" said carlos hastely, "just in case"
"whats up with them" said tom, "i dunno, but i don't like it" replied sarah ingham, "somethings up" she added,

so the next day, while everyone was having breakfast, emily rang and said she was coming home that very day!!
"good news everyone" said joe smiling, "emily is coming home today" "cool" said sophie, i hope her mother is ok"
"i hope my horse is ok too" added viki, "i have been missing blossom, he's my best horse" "thats a very gay name for a male horse,
isn't it?" asked james, "well i liked it" replied viki, "on another matter" interupted joe, "i rang ntl last night, and they are coming this afternoon" "cool" said reena, "i can't wait to have free internet axcess, i can buy old hospital jurnals, on auction sites"
"yes we ae all looking farward to it, now, louise says today is the day to start the planting, and we all have to help"
"yes that right" interupted louise, rudely, pulling down a weather chart, "by my calculations, it is the perfect day to plant,
and as i was saying earlier, my hand was right up there!!! i mean right up there!!!!" "ok ok, i was talking" said joe,
"oh yeah sorry" said louise, a little embarresed, "anyway, the point is, we need someone to stay at the house, and let in the ntl blokes, and answer any questions they might ask" "oh i'll do that" volunteered becca, "right ok, good, come on then people eat up,
there is work to do!" said joe gulping down his waffles.

so after breakfast, everyone went outside to start work, except becca who put on jerry springer, to watch "quorn stunted my growth, and ruined my life" outside emily was galloping down the track towards the farm, "hey here comes emily" said ingham excitedly,
"oh good" said joe, looking up from his work, "i hope all is well at home" so while viki went off to the stable, to prepare for blossoms
return, everyone got back to work, inside becca was still watching jerry springer, when there was a knock at the back door,
"oh good, that'll be ntl" she said smirking, "hello" said a man of slight stature, when becca opened the door,
"why come in" said becca, "tea?" she asked, "oh yes please" answered the man, "right" said becca picking up a meat clever,
"are you ready" she asked, leaping at the man, and hacking him to the ground, and proceeding to chop him up, starting with his head! so when all was finshed, the floor was awash with blood, and there was becca, standing there, breathing hard and dripping with blood, "now for the others" she said heading for the ntl van, parked outside!

"emily, hows things" called bex, as emily came into the courtyard, "my mother is feeling much better thankyou" replied emily jumping down from blossom, "good good" said bex, "wheres carlos" asked emily looking excited, "hes not here at the mo" replied bex, "oh no" asked emily bemused, "yeah he said he had things to do" "but i told him i was coming back this morning, why didn't he make sure he was here" "oh well, i guess he isn't as bothered as you thought" replied bex casually,
"i'm worried now" said emily looking sad, "oh well, come see come sar, hey" said bex, smiling evily,
so while emily went to get rid of her horse, carlos came out of the toilet, "hey wheres emily" he asked, "just gone to put her horse away" replied bex, "oh right i will go se her" "oh i wouldn't do that, said she wanted to be alone or something" said bex,
"oh well fine" said carlos, going off in a huff,

so when it was time for lunch, everyone headed for the kitchen, joe opened the door casually, "my god!!! what have you done"
he said looking at becca, "i told you, i hate ntl men" she replied, wiping the blood of her face, "oh becca, sometimes you just have to be dificult, don't you!" said robyn, crossly,"sorry its just i'm in a bit of a mood" replied becca, shrugging,
just then emily and viki came in, "my goodness whats happened here?" asked emily, "becca got a bit angry" answered arthur,
"oh dear" said viki, dissaprovingly, "tut tut" "well look, lets not let this little problem spoil our plans, how about we fit the lines ourselves" suggested joe, "hey i thought you were out" said emily looking at carlos, "what are you talking about?" asked carlos,
"and anyway i'm not talking to you" he said, "well fine, i aint talking to you either" replied emily crossly,

so that night everyone went to the pub, and had lots to drink and played some fun darts games before the big final,
and for just one night, all thier problems were forgotten.
so the next day all was quite, joe had let everyone have a lie in, and the morning off from work,
"whats up joe, you look tired and aggrevated" said suz walking in at about 10am, "oh nothing, i'm just thinking about luke,
and where all this will end" replied joe, "i'm sure he'll turn up, and we will find out everything" replied suz, optimisticly,
"i hope so" said joe, supping on a cup of tea, just then carlos came in, "wheres emily i have to talk to her" he said looking serious,
"in her room i think" said emma g, "right" he said in a determined voice, running up the stairs 2 at a time,
"i wonder whats up with them" said suz pondering, "yes i wonder" replied emma g.

so when everyone had got up, and breakfast was being prepared, jo announced her new best seller,
"people i have released a book, oils and teas of the northan hemisphere" "cool" replied james, "can i have a free copy?"
"no you will pay the full price of £27.99, like everyone else" replied jo, "now who will help me to install a printing shop in the basement?" she asked, "i will" answered jeni, "i need a job" "good its settled then" said joe, looking very proud,
"just then emily came bounding down the stairs, "guess what everyone" she screamed, "what " replied everyone at once,
"i'm getting married!!!" she said laughing, "arr thats soo sweet" said debbie, "now now people" she said, "we need to organise this pretty quick" "yes may i be brides maid?" asked ingham, "of course" replied emily, "but calm down please"
"yes emily is right, we need to think about this" said joe sternly, "oh joe, you always have to ruin everything" said alion crossly.

just then bex came strutting in, "wuz up people" she said, "emilys getting married" blurted out robyn, "what" said bex,
"to who?" "who do you think" said jess, "but what about me" she asked, looking at carlos, "bex it was fun, but i was wrong,
and i have decided to forgive emily, dispite what she said" answered carlos, "what did i say" said emily, bemused,
"about not liking me as much as you thought, and all that" " i never said that" said emily astonished, "but bex said..." carlos stuttered, "hey hang on i never said anything" butted in bex, "bex you bitch" shouted emily, "you told me carlos went off when he knew i was coming home" "well... mm.. yes but that wa." "now now everyone calm down" interupted joe,
"outside" said emily, looking at bex bitterly, "you got it missy" said bex, opening the door,
"now stop this, right now" shouted joe, like he meant buisness, everyone shut up, even emily, "we will finish this later" he said,
"for now we have a wedding to organise!!!"

so for the next few days, there was much hustle and bustle, as everyone organised, and phoned friends and ordered dresses,
and all sorts. emilys brother, was coming to play in his band for the reception, with james joining in on lead guitar,
chief, joes sister, was coming down, and even alex (alias rat boy) was coming, much to louises joy.
so after many days of organising, the big day had nearly arrived, so one day, while joe was reading the morning paper,
emily asked him a question, "joe as you know, my dad went to the moon, to start a colony of talking ants,
so i would be very honoured if you were to give me away" "of course i will, i would like that very much" replied joe quite chuffed.

so the big day finally came, becca, ingham and jo, were brides maids, joe was giving emily away, carlos's best mate from portugal,
was best man, reena and alion were catering, sarah was singing, rob was conducting the service, the reception was going to be in the big barn, and the service was being held in the chapel, at the back of the farmhouse, while the night do, was in the pub,
so in the morning, everyone was rushing around, james was refusing to wear a suit, claiming it would look absurd,
the service was supposed to be at 11oclock, and it was already 9.30!! "oh do come on" said alion, "we will be late"
arthur was trying to eat something before he went. "well i don't wanna be hungry in the middle of the service do i" he said,
scoffing down a crumpet, "calm down people" said debbie, "we have plenty of time, if everyone cooperates"
so when all was ready and it was 10.55!! everyone rushed down the flagstone path to the chapel, outside there was rob, smoking a fag, and having a quick pint of tennents, while he still had the chance,

so the service got underway, all went smoothly, other than rob popping out for a kebab, halfway through the vows,
and chief turning up late, after the pub, and sending joe vile text messages during the service,
but it was soon all over, emily and carlos were soo happy, and even bex made up with them, before it was all over,
and debbie cought the bouquet, julia p fell down the steps outside and mingered her ankle, all was good,
and it was off to the barn for drinking, speaches and eating. bex even said a little something and apoligised for causing trouble,
then it was time for the best man speach, "now i have never met any of you before" he began. "so i can say whatever i like and i won't have to take the flack" he scoffed, "right, well where should i begin, first there was the taxi inccident"
so when all the vile and embarresing storys had been told, and carlos had knocked him out, it was time for the band.
emilys brother, (whos name i have forgotten, and whos band name i have forgotten too) took to the stage in style,
and james rocked on his new gibson, made entirely from nozzle plant wood,

so as everyone walked down towards the pub, their in the distance, debbie thought she saw smoke, "isn't that in the direction of the pub" she said, in a worried tone of voice, "oh shit your right" said rob, running off ahead, but coming to a halt after about 4 yards
"i really have to give up smoking, i could of played for Q.P.R" he said puffing, so as they got nearer to the tavern, they could see the whole thing was in flames!!! "my goodness" said jo c, "whats happened, how did it start?" said julia, wondering,
"right come on back home people to get the hoses" shouted joe, running back down the road, "my pub my beutifull pub,
there must be at least 4000 b&hs in there" sobbed rob, "and the beer as well" so joe and several other people,
turned up at the farmhouse, "right i'll open up the back door" said joe loudly over the din of flames licking wood,
"damn it, its locked" said joe, "you won't get in here" said a voice from inside, "everything is locked and bolted"
"luke you bastard" cried out tom, "how could you!" "and" continued luke, "i have a suprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................................




NEXT AND FINAL CHAPTER!!!!!!!! AR WELL YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fiels of Nozzles - Part 23

"arrr its so cute" said debbie smiling, "well i think we should burn it and burn its face first, i love being king" said james,
"now now, lets all calm down people" said joe, "first things first, i'm gonna call my lawyer" "yes good idea" said alion agreeably, "right back in a sec" said joe in an important voice, so while joe rang rob,(fatbob) everyone stared in disbelief,
"well lets kill louise,anyway" said james, "no, no killing" said jess disaprovingly, "well" said joe coming back in,
"rob is on his way" "oh good" said alion lighting up, "now for some lunch"

so when everyone had eaten, and arthur had thrown up some old boot polish, there was a knock at the door,
"ar that will be rob" said joe, striding to the door, "hey" said rob bowling in, with a b&h hanging from his mouth, and a can of tennants in his hand, "got any kebabs?" he asked, stroking his belly, "yes come this way" said alion leading the way,
"tea?"offered jo, "oh yes please" replied rob, "now" he said, opening his breifcase, "wheres this baataur?"
"hey easy tiger, thats my son" said wilko, "ar i see, how convenient" replied rob, opening another can,
"heres your kebab" said alion walking in, "and your tea sir" added jo, handing it over", "good good" said rob,
so after rob had eaten 3 kebabs and drunk 4 cans of tennants, it was time to see the "beast" upstairs everyone convened in louises master bedroom, "now what to do with this thing" said joe, looking worried, "well can it speak" asked rob,
"can i speak, can i f*#k" replied the baataur, "so you can" answered suz looking confused, "ar you've sussed me" replied the baataur,

"well for now, we will keep him in the attic" said joe wisely, so when things were discussed and baataur was banished to the attic, it was time to bury scott, susie and catherine, plus mark and ellie, in a mass grave, "now who will take the service?" asked joe, in all seriousness, "sod this for a laugh, lets just chuck them in" said julia p, kicking scott down the grave wall,
"ok" said joe, "shovels people" so when they had buried them, it was time to eat, and then continue the darts comp,
"so who owns the pub now?" asked anna looking quite worried, "ar well" said rob opening yet another breifcase, this one full of fiftys, "well thats that sorted" said joe satisfied, so when they had opened up, and had a few beers, it was time for quarter final no1, debbie and joe verses jess and tom, "now this time we will win, said tom determined, "yes" agreed jess, flexing,

meanwhile carlos was looking at his wounds in the corner, "ar that looks bad" said bex, "you are very kind" replied carlos,
just then emily came in, "i have to go away" she sobbed, "my mother is very unwell, and i have to see her"
"oh thats terrible" said julia, "yes, i will return tho, i hope very soon" so emily went home to pack and prepare a horse, with viki
meanwhile carlos was feeling bad, "maybe i should go with her" he said looking guilty, "no don't worry about it" said bex,
she said she wanted to have a break from you anyway, she said it was the voice, it grates, cuts like a knife"
"oh i see" said carlos angrily, "i'll stay and have some fun then" "yes you do that" answered bex sitting on his knee,

so while robert whacked up all the bar prices by 50%, debbie and joe, had began their match against jess and tom.
"right i'm up" said debs, striding over to the ocky, "oops" she exclaimed, as her dart flew through the window, and struck a man in the eye! "oh well" she said throwing manicly, "i'll have a pineapple, lime and lemonade please" said jess,
"ooh thats gonna cost ya" replied rob, "just serve me you nonce" replied jess, "right that'll be £6.85 please"
"bastard" jess whispered under her breath, "d&j 1set to 1" said reena loudly, as if anyone cared, "shouldn't someone clean up the basement" suggested jeni, swilling a vodka, "yes good idea" said rob, "rii, to the basement" he said smirking,

"go on have another" said bex, giving carlos another double jack daniels, "oh why not" replied carlos,"emily never let me drink"
"we win again, i think you'll find" said joe, arrogantly, "oh diddums" said jess, throwing her darts across the floor,
"now now" said joe in a cocky tone of voice, "we won fair and square" "oh get bent" replied tom, "at least i beat the rabbits"
so while bex and carlos, started arm wrestling, and rob began to put up the bar prices again,
and the next darts game got going, luke suddenly started beeping inside, "what the hell is that?" asked arthur,
"oh its just my mobile" replied luke looking shifty, "i'll just go answer it" so off went luke outside, never to return that night,
meanwhile jess was at the bar smoking a fag, "excuse me" said rob, looking very irate, "get the f#*k out of my pub"
"why what had she done?" asked joe strolling over to see the situation, "i just don't like her face, shes been pissing me off all night" replied rob, "and why are you here" he said looking at tom, "i'm drinking here" he replied looking bemused, "ok you two out now" rob shouted, so off went jess and tom, wondering what they had done, "whats up with you?" asked joe,
"they were pretending to flick ash on my bar"

so when it struck 1am, it was time to pack it in for the evening, and go home to play strip monopoly,
"right come on folks" said rii, "lets be off" back at the farmhouse, it was time for cups of tea, and a kebab or two,
"right off to bed guys" said joe sternly, "up early tomora to start the next harvest, and clean up all the wolf corpses"
so everyone went to bed, except rob, arthur and joe, whos turn it was to stayup and keep watch, just then emma came running in, "have you seen the office, its been totally ransacked!" "what" replied joe, "by who?" "i don't know" replied emma,
"but luke has disapeared again!!!!!...................


NEXT CHAPTER, EMILY RETURNS FOR A BIG SHOWDOWN!! AND DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?
PLUS JOE DISCOVERS SOME STRANGE THINGS ARE MISSING FROM HIS OFFICE, AND BAATAUR BREAKS LOOSE!!

Fields of Nozzles - Part 22

outside it was pitch black and very cold, the wind was howling, and apart from that all quiet, everyone took their positions,
on the east and north walls, and waited weapons poised eyes wide, hearts pounding, "there" shouted james, emptying a few rounds into the darkness, "right people, i want to see ammo conservation, bullets don't grow on trees you know" said joe,
in an important voice, "i want snipers on the roof of the barn, and the farmhouse" "yes good idea" said viki, "i will get a squad together" "i will come with you" said matt running after her, "right lets give them whats coming to them" said tom, cocking his rifle,
so in the darkness of night, through the screams of the villagers being torn apart, the young heros fought for all they were worth,
"we need more firepower on the north wall" shouted julia, "right one section in every three, onto the north wall" shouted joe,
over the din of guns and wizzing bullets, "their retreating" called jess, from the east wall, so for a short while, all was quiet,
and everyone reloaded, had somthing to eat and made sure of casualties, "no-one injured as yet" said robyn.

"here they come again" said rii, cracking off into the night, the fighting continued for many hours, and joe began to get worried about ammonitions, "these rounds won't last forever" he said sounding somber, "right i'm off" said scott(the rock)cooper,
as he bounded over the wall, and started beating the wolves with the butt of his gun, but eventually he was overrun, and torn apart,
"he died a heros death, the one he deserved" said joe sadly, "they will finish feeding on the villagers soon, then were really screwed" pointed out alion, pulling hard on her pipe, "yes alion is right, what do we do" added debbie, "ok ok, i don't know"
replied joe, as day dawned, and the wolves retired once again for a while, "thats 5 times they've come now" said luke breathing hard, "yes what do we do now?" asked emma, "yes and where have i been for the last 10 odd chapters" added suz,
"look sorry guys, lets just concentrate on the wolves"

so when the wolves had finished on the village, they turned their full attention to the farmhouse, "right this is it people"
said joe firmly, "do or die!!" so as the wolves pushed on for victory, bent on destruction, everyone put everything ythey had into,
the defense of their farm. "this is for all our friends in hopmoe" shouted jeni, as she loaded up terrence, and he hurled the rocks over the parrapet. just then carlos slipped off the barn roof, and fell over the wall!! "quickly open up the gate and get him inside" called joe while thrashing this way and that with his minigun, so tom, rii and luke, ran over to the gates and pulled back the locking bars, and dragged carlos inside, "oh are you ok" said bex, stroking his head, "yes thankyou, your very kind"
said carlos smiling, "huh" said emily in disgust, "get back over here" shouted joe, to the others, "right come on" said tom,
"luke close the gates will you" "ok" replied luke with a strange look on his face!,

as the fighting continued into midmorning, however hard the wolves tried, they just couldn't get over the walls,
if we can keep this up for just a few hours longer, we should be able to fight them off" said joe looking more hopefull,
"how is louise" he asked, "shes doing well, but its a very long labour" replied julia p, who had just come out,
"yes well we could do with reena and becca, so i hope it isn't too much longer" replied joe, looking out over the walls,
just then tim shouted from the east wall, "their coming through the gates" "quick to the gates" shouted susie,
when they arrived, the wolves were already inside, and causing havoc!! "quickly help me help me" screamed catherine.
as the wolves dragged her across the ground, so everyone helped to ram the doors closed, and then to kill the wolves that were left inside, but not before they got catherine and susie!, "how did they get inside?" wondered emma l, "luke was supposed to lock the gates" said tom accusingly, "yes what do you have to say for yourself?" asked joe, looking at luke, "i thought i had locked them, i swear" he answered, "look" shouted suz from the watch tower, "the wolves have retreated!!" "yay we did it" said james leaping into the air.

so everyone helped to carry susie, catherine and scott, to the field behind the farmhouse, "we will bury them later" said joe sadly,
just then reena came running round the corner, "quick come upstairs everyone, louise has given birth!!"
so everyone followed reena upstairs to the master bedroom, there on the bed was louise sleeping soundly, "poor girl" said joe,
"so where is the baby?" asked rii, "well" began reena, "it was one hell of a baby, 5stone 4pounds!, and well it has hoofs"
"what" exclaimed viki, "well take a look yourselves" she said ushering them into another room, "my god" said jess, "its a baataur!!!!...............

NEXT CHAPTER, BEX IS A REAL BITCH!! LOUISE RECOVERS FROM THE TRAUMA OF CHILD BIRTH, AND LUKE IS QUESTIONED!!!? PLUS THE FUNERAL OF SUSIE, CATHERINE AND SCOTT, AND THEY INVESTIGATE THE STRANGE DEATH OF ELLIE AND MARK????

Fields of Nozzles - Part 21

"right everyone inside quick" said joe, trying to stay calm, so everyone ran inside, including debs, leaving her horse to stomp around outside, "now where did you see them?" asked joe, "well" began debbie sweating prefusively, "its funny really, it all began back in the summer of 63, i was only small, and it was a bright day, my father sat me on his knee, and he said, debs you are nearly 4, i think it times you got a job" "oh get to the point you freak!!" screamed james, becoming quite irate,
"yes please back to the wolves" said joe, trying not to flip, "oh yes the wolves" said debbie, "right well there about 3 miles away,
and heading in this direction" "right everyone, outside, lets get these walls finished, even if it kills us!" said joe in an important voice,

so outside everyone got stuck in, even louise, in her far from fit state, "what about ellie and mark" asked jeni,
"we will have to get back to that later" replied joe, strugling with a small rock, "yes we all have to help" added tom,
"ok tom, your not kubler khan" said jess, exasperated, "anyway come along everyone, work ethic remember" said joe,
so by lunch time they had finished 3 walls and had started on number 4, "right a quick bite i think" said alion, wisely,
"yes on the hoof so to speak" added james, trying to be clever, so everyone helped to make sandwiches, and eat them.
and then continued to work away, except louise who had gone to lie down, now weighing about 15 stone!!.

so finally all the walls were finished, and it was time to make plans, for the impending attack, " i think we should use terrence"
said jeni, "for hurling bolders maybe" "yes good idea" said robyn, "what about a huge plastic moose, with like plimsoles in it and..."
"oh shut up robyn, you and your giant animals" said julia p, "your just in a mood, coz your best mate is dead" replied robyn,
"now now children" said alion keeping order, in her normal sarcastic way, "enough is enough" "right lets get hese bastards"
said debbie firmly, holding a m16 semi automatic, "yes good idea debs, weapons" said joe thinking hard,
"right to the local clothes shop" he said grabbing his coat, so off went james, luke, tom and joe,
"hello mr shopkeeper" said tom cheerfully, "good afternoon, what can i do for you?" the shopkeeper asked,
"we want some clothes" said joe winking hard, "oh right, yeah "clothes" he answered, "follow me" he said motioning to a back door, inside was a vast room, entirely lined with guns of all sorts, "right we'll have one of each" said james, licking his lips.

so back at the farmhouse, when the guys had returned, it was time for tea, and the plans to be drawn up properly,
"now" said joe, rolling down a reeled up map on the wall, and poking it with a long stick, "here are the enemy, and here is us"
"excuse me for asking" said rii, "what about the villagers" "what about them" asked joe bemused, "well are we going to let them all inside our defences or what?" ""well we could do that, but it would mean loosing our main defence" "and whats thats" asked
emily, "the stalling motion, while the wolves tear our fellow villagers to peices, we can kill as many as poss from the safety of our fort" "what a good idea" said jo c, "yes i like it" added james, "sounds like a plan to me" said anna.

so when all the plans had been set, and the weapons distributed, it was time to set watchmen and guards,
"now, it is likely that the wolves will atack by cover of darkness, and probably from the east" said joe trying to sound proffesional.
so off went tom, james, scott"the rock"cooper, arthur and robyn, (just to prove a point) to their posts, while everyone else prepared for war!!,

the clock struck midnight, all was deadly silent, no-one dared to breathe, everyone was waiting in the living room, weapons poised,
and ammo at the ready, "i wonder when they will come" said susie suddenly, "anytime now i expect" said luke,
just then reena came running in, "louise is really not well, she is having contractions, and needs help bad" "right julia p,
go help reena" said joe, firmly and harshly, "and becca, go get the first aid box" "rightoh" replied becca running for the cupboard,
so while louises screams of pain were heard throughout the house, and the sweat began to run down the thirty odd bunch of frightened youngsters, their was a shout!!, "HERE THEY COME!!" bellowed james from the forth tower,
"right people" said debs, "lets kick some ass!!!...........................

NEXT CHAPTER, LOUISE GIVES BIRTH, BUT TO WHAT??!!! THE WOLVES GIVE IT SOME GRIEF!!!!!
AND LUKE DOES THE DIRTY ON EM!!!!!!

Fields of Nozzles - Part 20

"i wonder why ellie has been so long" said jess, looking worried, "i wouldn't worry, shes probably found a nice bottle of whisky" said tom quite casually, so after many hours, when all the darts had been played, and the quarter finals were thus,
debbie&joe, and jess&tom, jo&rii, and julia&arthur, louise&viki, and james&robyn, and finally, emily&carlos, and sarah&anna. joe was beginning to get worried about ellie, "mark go have a look, and see where shes got to will you"
"ok doc" replied mark heading for the stairs, "i beta start clearing up i guess" said rii, "yes i will help you" added sarah,
"well i'm going off to live with the fish people" said jeni, walking off, "ok be back for dinner" replied wilko, sucking hard on a fag, "well where the hell has mark gone now" said arthur quite annoyed by all the waiting, "i'm not made of splifs you know"
"look, we will have a look for them, after we have finished cleaning up" sarah said wisely, "ok see you back at base" said joe in an important voice,

so back at the farmhouse, "right its time to send out a rider" said joe, "under the cover of darkness, who will go?"
"i will" piped up debbie, "good its settled then, viki, louise, go help her prepare a horse" said joe proudly,
"right now for a lookout" joe continued, "its my turn i think you'll find" said matt standing proudly, "ok heres the shotgun"
so when matt had gone off to his post, and viki and louise had packed the horse, it was time for debs to be off,
"right now debs, take care wont you those wolves are vicious bastards" said james, "oh i'll be fine" said debbie casually,
"their only cute little dogs after all" "yes quite" said wilko smirking as usuall,

meanwhile back at the pub, it was time for rii and sarah to leave, "i'll just go look" said rii, "ok" said sarah, "i'll lock up"
so rii cautiously walked down the stairs, "i do hope they are ok" she said to herself, she opened the door slowly,
and in the dim light, created by the light streaming through the doorway........ there hanging form the ceiling, was ellies cold and battered body!!, with mug written on her forehead in a blue marker pen!! "aaaaarrhhh" screamed rii,
half scared and half horrified, rii quickly looked round the basement floor, hoping to see mark somewhere,
and sure enough there he too lay, strangled by his own base guitar strings, and his face covered by the remains of his guitar, "oh no not mark too" said rii almost reduced to tears, "he rocked"

"right bed time people" said jo, always amazed at how long they all stayed up, "right i'm off" said julia p, "yeah me too" said sophie, so when everyone had gone to bed, except louise, luke and joe, "you alright louise" asked joe, "you've put on three stone in 2 days" "yeah i'll be ok" said louise munching away on a cucumber and orange cheese baguette,
just then sarah and rii, came bounding in, "their dead, their dead" shouted sarah, hystericaly, while rii just stood there as if in a daze, "just a minute calm down" said joe, slapping sarah about the face, "whos dead? what happened?"
"i don't know, but their both dead" shouted sarah again, "who saw this" asked louise, "rii did" answered sarah,
collapsing on a sofa, "right we need to find out who did this" said joe, trying to control his anger,
"we have to to go back tomorrow, and see the situation" "yes agreed luke, and play with our "souls" "mm" said louise,

so in the morning everyone was up a little late, due to having a late night darting, "now we have to wait for debs, before we do anything else" said joe, "she should be back by about 11 i hope, unless anything terrible has happened"
"wheres jeni" asked catherine, "she went to live with the fish people, dummy" replied sophie, "oh yeah" said catherine,
"i forgot about that" "now for some breakfast" said alion, getting out the dips and cheese, "can we have some tea jo"
called tom from the living room, "ay" murmured jo, looking up from her book on world oils and aromas,
"tea woman, and make it quick" repeated tom, "two sugers" "oh get your own, you sexist nonce" she replied, returning to her book,

so after breakfast, everyone waited tensely for debbies return, except for wilko, who was sprawled out on the sofa, watching, american hyper racing, on channel sporto! "oh where is she" said emily biting her nails,
"its only 11.20, she'll be back soon" said alion, trying to sound confident, "i hope so" said luke, "we need her blood"
"what did you just say?" asked james swinging round in his chair, "oh..mm.. i said we need her company"
"mmm" pondered tom stroking his chin, "just then, sarah ingham called from outside, "here she comes"
everyone stormed outside, to see her approach, debs came galloping into the compound, "hurry hurry" she hollered,
"their on their way!!!!!!!!!!!!......


NEXT CHAPTER, THE WOLVES GET VERY CLOSE!! LUKE BECOMES A NIMF GENERALLY, AND WILL JENI EVER RETURN FROM THE FISH PEOPLE??? PLUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING???????

Fields of Nozzles - Part 19

so in the pub the action started, sarah was singing away, and ellie was knocking them back,
in the beer garden, rii was cleaning the tables, "thats strange" she thought, "theres a hole where that dead grass was"
back inside the darts was kicking off, one of many games was debbie and joes second round match, against alion and wilko, "look at them, those vile cretins" said wilko smirking, "we're soo going to kick their ass's" "i don't know"
replied alion, "their pretty sharp, you should of seen them up against jess and tom" "don't worry ali, i have sorted everything" wilko replied confidently.

just then louise turned up, looking very upset, "whats the matter lou?" asked susie, louise strutted up to wilko, and smacked him round the head!, "what the hell was that for?" asked wilko, "you bastard" she said inraged with anger, "how could you do this to me?"
"ar touche" replied wilko smugly, "nevermind ey, worse things happen at sea" "louise, whats up" called catherine,
as louise went storming out of the pub, "oh well" said ellie stumbling around, "lets play some darts"
so after many hours of darts, and a lot of laughs, plus concerns for louise, and ellies health, joe and debbie, had continued their unbeaten record, with another thrashing, "what did i tell you" said alion crossly, "oh get a life" said wilko casually,
"well fine" replied alion, puffing hard on her pipe, "right come on people, time for bed" said joe, tapping his watch,
like some anal aristocrat, "oh joe" said sophie dispairingly, "your soo anal"

back at home, most people went off to bed, but arthur got out his rizlers and and nozzle fibres, while julia, began constructing a morris minor 200, with a pipe cleaner and a box of pretzels, "where is louise?" asked joe looking worried,
"i think she went to bed" replied jo, "oh well, i hope she is ok" said jess, "right, james, tom, your up tonight" said joe in an important voice, so when all had gone to bed, and all was quiet, tom expressed his concern for luke,
"i don't like it atall" said tom, "he's changed, and it aint for the good" "no i know what you mean" added james, picking off his scab,
to see his arm was completely better, "wow that nozzle leaf oil, really worked" he said very pleased to finally be better,
"anyway" said joe disregardingly, "what do we do about luke, i think we should keep an eye on him" "yes good idea" replied tom,

so the next morning everyone started working on the walls. except louise who said she felt ill, and was eating gravy and sugered almond sandwiches, even emily was feeling better, and helping out best she could, "carlos really seems to like her" said becca,
while stacking rocks, and occasionly leaning into a icecream tub, to throw up for a minute or so,
"yes i think he does" replied robyn. just then there was a knock on the now vast gates, "i'll go see who it is" said jo c,
"hello" she said, as she opened the gates, to see a girl standing there chewing gum, "hi i'm sexy bexy" said bex,
"oh right come in then" said jo c, "what are you doing here?" asked emily, not looking happy atall,
"can't your best mate come and visit" replied bex sarcastically, "anyway you owe me a favour" she added,
"and whats that" inquired becca, "none of your buisness" snapped bex, "now now" butted in joe, "we won't have any upset on my farm, what is the problem emily? and why are you here?" he asked bex, "i just wanted to get away from the city" she said quite innocently.

so by the end of the day, they had 3 walls up!!! "i must say, i am very gratefull for your help" said joe, looking at matt and terrence,
"yes i have quite enjoyed it" replied matt smiling, and looking in vikis direction, "yes it has been fun" added terrence,
"right, now the wolves must be getting close by now" said joe thinking hard, "i think we should send out a rider, to scout out their location" "yes good idea" said robyn, back indoors dinner was on the go, and louise was feeling rather sick again,
"i'm not right atall" she said quivering and shaking, on a sofa, "i think we should take your temperature" said reena wisely,
"well i aint doing it" said wilko lounging on the settee, legs spread drinking a cupa, "your such a lazy bastard" shouted louise,
"yeah well, i'm just geting in role" replied wilko smartly,

"right, come on then people, to the pub and beyond" said joe looking very excited, "yes and may a good time be had by all" added jess, "just one thing before we go" asked tim, "who they hell are you?" he said looking at joe, "look mate" said joe now quite irate,
i am joe, the owner and dictater of this farm, now never ask who i am again,OK?" "well i don't remember you but ok" replied tim bemused again, so off to the pub they went, even luke went along, "right lets get started" said reena, organising the darts again,
so as the evening wore on, and the pumps and fridges began to empty, and people began to throw things at sarah, due to her apalling singing, "i think i will go get some more beers" said ellie heading for the basement stairs,
down in the basement all was dark ans quiet. "eeellllllie" came an eerie voice, from the darkness of barrels, "whos their?" called ellie, "wh ydid you kill me ellie, i had done nothing wrong" "oh shit" screamed ellie heading for the door,
"oh no you don't" whispered the voice, "fair is fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..................................................

NEXT CHAPTER, WHO GIVES A F*#*K

Fields of Nozzles - Part 18

"right come along now everyone" said ellie loudly, "gather your things and get out of my pub" "right lets go guys"
said joe, "before things go down hill" back at the farmhouse, it was time for a quick cupa before bed,
"i think we shall have nozzle leaf tea tonight" said jo, "tomorrow we will talk to emily" said ingham, "she has some bad news i think" "yes we must find out whats been happening" replied joe. "tim it is your turn to guard, in the watch tower"
"sorry who are you" asked tim bemused, "i'm joe i run this farm, do you not remember me?" said joe suprised,
"i've never seen you before in my life, but ok then" answered tim, so off went tim to the tower, while everyone else went to bed, "right night all" said joe, "robyn, jo c, its your turn to stay up tonight" "rightoh" said robyn, i will get the games out"

the next morning, after breakfast it was time to get back to work on the perimeter walls, "i'm just going to the barn"
said robyn, heading for the door, "yeah i will go too" said julia, going after her, "i wonder what their up to" asked james,
just then there was a knock on the door, "i'll get it" said viki opening the door, "hello i'm matt" said a dark athletic man,
"may i have some water" "yes of course" replied viki, "come in" "why are you here?" asked sarah, "i have been running round the world" replied matt, "it is very hard work" "may i ask why" said joe, pondering the idea of running round the entire world, "well its for charity, but i am slightly lost, and need somwhere to crash for a few days" "your welcome to stay here"
said viki hurriedly, "yes by all means" added joe, "you are more than welcome, all i ask is that you pitch in while you are here, we are having a few problems with wolves" "yes thats fine" replied matt, "anything to help, infact i ran into those nasty wolves on the way here" "i hope you didn't come to any grief" said tom, "well they ate my mate and my spare shoes"
replied matt looking sad, "well we are building a vast defense system to protect us from them, so you will be quite safe here" said joe in an important voice,

meanwhile in the barn, "oh robyn my lust for you is so strong" said julia breathing hard, "i know and me for you" replied robyn, "but we must be carefull" "but its so good" answered julia, "i know i know" said robyn.
outside everyone had started on the wall, "later on when emily has woken" said joe, "we will go and speak with her"
"yes good idea" replied jeni, "where do you want me?" asked matt eager to get started, "right you go and help tom and luke collect some more rocks" said joe, glad of the extra help, "you ok luke" asked tom looking worried, "you seem a little tense" "I'M FINE OK, STOP ASKING ME!!" "ok ok only asking" said tom, "sorry tom, i'm not feeling myself today" said luke
twitching violently,

so by lunch time, they had finished two walls, "right well we should be safe for the moment" said joe, looking very pleased,
"it will take them several days to get round the other side, by which time we should of finished them too"
"lets see how emily is, why i get some dinner on" said alion, "yes good idea" said sarah, "right lets go guys" said joe,
walking off down the lane, indoors alion put some dinner on, "is toast and tortillas ok" she asked, "with cheese and chilli sauce of course" "sounds good" said arthur, always hungry. upstair emily was feeling much better,
everyone piled in to hear her what she had to say, "so come on then emily" said james impatiently, "did they torture you?"
"james!! don't be so insensitive" said debbie, "all of you be quite, and listen please" said joe trying to calm everyones excitment,

"well" began emily, "i was feeding the horses, to help out viki and louise, and suddenly there was this bright light,
and it was coming from the spacecraft, then i guess i must of passed out or somthing, coz next thing i knew i was inside this huge room, and there was luke strapped to this huge camel, and he was moaning, i never saw him after that"
"what about wendy" asked emma, looking hopefull, "yes i was getting to that" said emily, "i never saw her properly,
but i saw some strange beings, who all looked like neil sadaka, wheeling what looked like bits of wendy, on a big trolly"
"oh no" said emma weeping, "its ok" said jeni comfortingly, "we didn't like her anyway"
so i was in this huge room, for ages and no-one came to talk to me or anything, i must of been their for a couple of days,
and then two neil sadaka lookalikes, came over to me, and made me eat what looked like purple flaun,
but it tasted rather like shellfish. "what was the room like?" asked mark, "well it was paneled out quite nicely in mahogany wood effect shiplap, and the floor were those nice vaneer strips from wickes, i felt there was a lot of scandanavian influence,
in the room,

so after emily had finished her story, everyone pondered on it, "so i wonder what they did to luke" said tom,
"yes you say you don't remember anything luke" asked joe, "well i seem to remember the camel vaigly,
replied luke, "but nothing after that" "well come along now everyone" said joe, "this won't get anything done"
so after their lovely lunch, prepared by alion, it was time to get back to work, so outside everyone got stuck in, just then,
something came through the gate, it was a large dinosaur, "hello i'm terrance" said the prehistoric beast, "hello" said jeni,
"i'm jeni" "can i be of any assistance" asked terrance, "yes you could help us build these walls" replied joe,
"my pleasure" answered terrance.

so after they had nearly finished the third wall, it was time for dinner and then some more darts action,
so ellie and rii went off to open up, and sarah went with them, "i was wondering" said sarah to ellie, "could i have a job at your pub, as a caberet singer?" "yes i don't see why not" replied ellie, "it sounds like good fun"
back at the house dinner was on the way, "wheres louise gone" asked alion, "she went to the chemist i think" replied viki,
"yes can i have a pregnancy test please!!!" said louise. "right lets go people" said joe looking forward to a good laugh,
and off they all went, except for luke, who had strangely nipped off somwhere!!!!!...............................

NEXT CHAPTER, THE WALLS ARE FINISHED. EMILY RECOVERS, LOUISE IS NOT WELL ATAL!???
AND WILKO GIVES IT SOME LIP!

Fields of Nozzles - Part 17

so in the morning, while jo got the kettle on, joe bagan the plan of attack for the badger, "so we will release it in about half an hour, before it gets too light" "yes but where do we release it?" asked sarah, "well i think we should release it in the north corner" replied joe, "so as to have maximum cover, while approaching" "good" said debbie approvingly, "lets get those nasty killer rabbits" so after everyone had eaten and drunk lots of tea, it was time for the great offensive,
"right" said joe in an important voice, "tom, robyn, jess and anna come with me, everyone else, under james instrutions,
get on with the wall" so off they all went,

"now" said robyn pondering, "tom you climb in, jess, you and joe prepare to opperate the pulleys" "right you are" replied jess, so tom put on his camo cagoule, and climbed inside the badger, "right, you comfortable tom?" asked robyn,
"yup ready to go mate" tom called back out of the badger, "good lets do it" said joe proudly, so jess, joe and anna all pulled
and strained and slowly began to push the badger into the field, "while robyn controlled the direction and speed, with her solar panel control board, "its working, its working" shouted robyn, "quiet rob" replied joe in a hushed voice,
"you'll scare the rabbits away"

meanwhile everyone else was busy building the wall, "so scot, why do they call you scot "the rock" cooper?" asked arthur,
"coz i is well hard" replied scot polishing his mini gun, "oh right, that makes sense" said arthur, "come along now"
said james trying to sound in charge, just then jo came running out of the house, "here james" she said, "try some of this nozzle leaf oil on your arm" "ok" said james looking interested, "what will it do?"? asked james, "it should clean the wound,
and help it to close up" replied jo, "cool" said james, "i hope it works, coz its really beginning to annoy me now"

back in the rabbit field, "tom was waiting patiently inside the badger, "how long will they be" he said to himelf,
"you ready tom" whispered jess, from outside the badger, "yes i'm ready" replied tom, "good off you go" so tom slowly opened the hatch at the head of the badger, and peered out, there in the field, were maybe up to 1000 rabbits!!!
"bloody hell" said tom, "right have some of this you furry nozzle seed eating cretins" he shouted, as he began to hurl his mokosons at great speed through the air, meanwhile jess, robyn, joe and anna were waiting under a hedge,
"whats happening" asked jess worrying again, "yes what can you see" added robyn, "not alot" answered joe peering through his binoculers, "aslong as they don't ambush him from behind, and tear him to peices, he'll be fine"

back at the walls, luke was sitting under a tree, holding a small object and talking into it, "what are you doing" asked julia p, "oh nothing, just doing a comentary on the farm" replied luke, "oh right" said julia p, even more worried than before,
so by lunch time, they had one entire wall finished, "this is going rather well" said james, standing back to veiw what they had done, "i wonder how tom and the guys are getting on" said suz, "yes i hope they are ok" said jeni,
"take that and that you fools, hahahaha" laughed tom drunk on his own sense of power, "look out" shouted anna,
"their coming in behind you" "oh shit" said tom picking up a lump of wood of the floor, just as a rabbit came bouding into the firing pit, smack!!!! went his wood as he took a rabbits head clean off, "oh yeah you want some too eh" he screamed,
swinging in every direction,

at the farmhouse, everyone else was having lunch, "this is good tukka reena" said arthur belting it down, "why thanku"
replied reena proudly, "right i'll get some tea on" said jo, just then anna came running in, "you should see whats happening in the field" she said puffing after her long run, "tom is kicking ass" "right lets go have a look, said mark, "come on scot"
so several people went bounding down the lane, "well thats that" said tom, dusting himself off, and climbing out of the burning badger, then mark came tearing round the corner, "woh" he said stopped in his tracks, "what the hell has happened here" all over the field lay hundreds apon hundreds of slane rabbits, the carnage was appalling, "hurray for tom" cheered jess, "yes pints are all free for this chap tonight" added robyn, "well it was nothing really" said tom modestly,
"any self respecting citizen would of done the same" "still you did the job and you did it well" said alion,
"yeah it was like the falklands all over again" said ellie,"right come on people" said joe very aware of the wolves,
"we'll have a quick bite, and then get on with the wall, except tom who is excused duty for the rest of the day"

so after lunch, everyone piled out of the farmhouse, back to work, "do you want some oil on those wounds" asked jo,
looking at tom, who was looking rather like a mauled dog, "yes please they sting like mad" he replied,
"those rabbits aint half got sharp claws" so when darkness fell, it was time to pack up, set a watchman and have some dinner, "right come on then eveybody, well done, that'll do for the day" said joe, wiping his forehead,
back indoors reena started dinner with jeni, while ingham went to heck on emily, upstairs emily was in bed resting,
"oh hi sarah" she said as ingham came in, "you alright em?" asked sarah, "not bad thanks" replied emily,
"but i have a terrible headache and i can't remember everything,but i do have some bad news, but i will tell everyone about it when i'm feeling better" "yes that is a good idea" said ingham, "i must be off to set the table, would you like some dinner?"
"yes please" answered emily, "right i will bring some up, when its ready"

so after dinner, everyone went to the pub to get started on the darts, "you coming luke?" asked tom, "eer no i will stay here actually, i have some "work" to do" "ok its your life" said tom suprised at luke missing drinking,
so back at the pub, jeni and susie started their match against louise and viki, and everyone else got some pints down them,
james and ellie had a downing competition, (which naturally ellie won) and rii went to clear the glasses in the beer garden,
"its funny why no grass grows, on that funny mounded part of the lawn" wondered rii to herself,
back at the farmhouse, carlos was upstairs seeing how emily was, "yes this is zogenox, i will report back tomorrow,
no the don't suspect a thing, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!.............................



NEXT CHAPTER!!! EMILY HAS SOME BAD NEWS, THE WOLVES GET CLOSER, AND WILL THEY FINISH THE WALLS IN TIME???

Fields of Nozzles - Part 16

everyone stood there in silence, finally joe spoke, "are you ok luke" he asked, "where have you been, what have they done to you?" "i i don't rememeber" he said, "how long have i been gone?" "well over a week" replied james,
"i don't remember anything after monday" luke said looking bemused, "well that was 10 days ago" said joe,
"they must of brain washed him" said alion, "yes i think you should go and lie down" said reena wisely,
"yes i feel rather strange, like i have been in a dream for months" replied luke, "right" said joe, "catherine you go put luke to bed, anna, you me and alion will stay up, and watch very carefully" so everyone went to bed, and arthur ate some proper food,

that night all was quiet, there was no sound from the 3rd field, and the killer rabbits were sleeping,
"i hope those wolves don't come before we have built the walls" said anna looking worried, "well we should have them finished within a few days, if everyone pitchs in" replied joe scetching away on the back of a weetabix box,
"well" said alion lighting her pipe, "i better get to my post, hand me the shotgun" "yes you should be off" replied joe,
handing over the weapon, so off went alion to the old goblin tower, "i hope she is ok" said anna, "she'll be fine" said joe,
"she can look after herself"

in the morning everyone was up by 6am, ready to start their very busy day, "morning all" said jo walking down the hall, past debbie, viki and jo c, "morning jo" replied debbie, "cups of tea all round?" jo asked, "yeah baby" replied julia p as she tripped over her feet and fell down 3 flights of stairs, "oh pigs shoes" she said picking herself up slightly dazed,
"carefull" said jo disaprovingly, down stairs while everyone drank tea, ,joe gave out the days orders, "now" he said,
"we need 20 people to collect rocks, and build the perimeter walls, and 10 people to work on the badger"
"i will be in comand of the badger building" said robyn proudly, "yes and i will be in charge of collecting rocks" said tom,
"good, now split yourselves into groups, and we'll be off" said joe in an important voice,

so everyone headed off to start work, "this is exciting isn't it" said jess, "well you might think so, but i don't like it atall"
replied emma g, "now we will begin the walls on the east side, as that is the most likely place for them to attack" said joe
so james and luke (now feeling much better) went off to start collecting rocks, with arthur, julia, emma and julia p,
while robyn started ordering people around, "now you, you little cretin" she said looking at charlotte, "get some nozzle leafs, double quike, as for you catherine, go get some wood with jo c and tim" meanwhile jo was busy with her aromatherapy course, "this is so cool, nozzle leaf oil" back in brushland, "so luke, how come you don't remember what happened to you" asked julia p, "i have no mother" he replied, "ok" said julia p looking very concerned,

by lunch time, the badger was almost complete, and the walls were coming along quite nicely, "lunch time" shouted arthur,
"wehey" said tom running down the lane, "well we are doing very well people, well done" said joe proudly,
"we will release the badger tomora morning, when it is dawn" "yes but one thing" said tom, "why do i have to throw the mokosons?" "because" replied robyn crossly, "you have more mokoson experience than the rest of us" "oh right"
said tom, quite pleased with the responsability, so after lunh time, they finished the badger off, and began to consentrate fully on the walls, incorperating the goblin tower in the outer skin, for maximum vision, so when it began to get dark,
everyone headed indoors to change into their darts gear, "i hope we win" said robyn, "oh we will" replied, james,
"those ellie and emma aint what they good"

so when everyone was ready, and had had a light snack, in the line of broth of hot bovril, it was time to be off,
"now whos turn is it in the tower, while we are away?" asked joe, "i will do it" said scot, "right heres the shotgun" said alion, "no i have my own defense thanks" replied scot, brandishing a 24mm german mini gun, "cool" said tom,
"why can't i just have that to kill the rabbits" "don't be silly" said robyn, "thats just what they'll expect" "mm" said tom,
thinking hard, so off went the others, while scot set up his machine gun, in the pub ellie was already plastered and all ready to go, "right" she said, "i'll have the lot of ya" "calm down mate" said emma, beginning to wonder what she had got herself into, so joe got the drinks in, robyn and james began their pre game war dance, and ellie tried to sober up on coffee,
so after many pints and lots of prawn coktail crisps all round, james and robyn, had won 2 sets to 1,
"well done" said jeni, "now it is jeni and susie, versus louise and viki, "right come on then" said louise warming up,
"lets kick some ass!!!"

the clock struck 1am, "now now ladies and gents" said rii, "time please, drink up and get lost" "right people, come on, before it turns nasty" said joe, so off they all danced, back to the farmhouse, singing and laughing,
back at the house all was quiet, "i will go check on scot" said joe, outside in the watch tower, scot was poised behind his 24mm "come on then you freaks" he shouted, "come and have some of this" "whats up scot?" asked joe, climbing into the tower, "i saw them they are moving towards the west" scot replied, "right in the morning we must get those walls built,
or at least on these two sides" "yes" replied scot, "or we are in deep miden juice!!!!"...............


NEXT CHAPTER, THE BADGER GO'S TO WAR!!!! LUKE GETS STRANGER, AND EMILY RECOVERS AND TELLS ALL!!!!!!!!

Fields of Nozzles - Part 15

inside everyone discussed the wolf problem, "i think we should build some parapet walls around the farm" said jess,
"yes i think that is a very good idea" said joe in an important voice, "right when do we start" asked tom itching to get started
"well first things first we need a lookout" said joe, "we can use the abandoned goblin tower, who will take first watch?"
"i will" piped up alion, "good" said joe satisfied, "tomorrow then we will begin the constrution of the perimeter walls"

so after lunch, it was time to discuss the other problem, the killer rabbits, "well" said robyn, "i have devised a plan of attack
we build a giant wooden badger covered in nozzle leafs, then we push it into the field vier a pulley system, meanwhile tom
is cunninly placed inside the badger, wearing his camouflage cagoule, and when the time is right, form a prominent position, he hurls mokosons at them, slaying them in their millions, "thats brilliant" said james enthusiasticly,
"right we will also begin construction of the badger tomorrow" said joe looking proudly at his foes,

as evening fell, it was time for the darts to proceed, but first reena had to once again operate on arthur,
"this time i will get it right" said reena looking determined, back in the living room, while ellie and rii, were opening up the tavern, james and robyn were preparing for their match against ellie and emma, while emma was revising for her phd in
midden management, and joe was drawing up plans for the perimeter walls, "hey guess what" said jo running in,
"i'm doing a crash course in aromatherapy" "oh cool" said anna, "i think i will just go and survey the area" said joe,
outside in the in cold wind, joe walked throu the gates of the farmyard, and prodeeded towards the woods at the edge of the 3rd field, just then he saw a strange light coming from the woods, and outlined against the strange light, there walking towards him was emily!!, "emily" shouted joe, "what happened to you?" there was no reply as emily staggered up to joe,
and collapsed at his feet, hurriedly he throu her into a wheelbarrow and ran back to the house,

inside everyone was getting ready to go to the pub, "i wonder where joe is?" pondered jeni, "yes he has been quite a while" replied tom, just then joe came bounding throu the door, "quikly i've found emily" everyone rushed outside,
there was emily singing bright eyes by simon & garfunkal, to the tune of sweet home alabama, "what has happened to her"
said debbie, "i think they got her" said joe sadly, staring towards the strange craft, "just a minute" said alion,
"i thaught the craft went under ground" "thats right" said louise, and then the craft began to rise out of the ground,
letting off a strange blue glow, "my goodness its massive" said jess in sheer horror, "those bastards have been building underground" said james, just then the craft began to move towards the farmhouse, "quikly inside" shouted joe,
inside julia p was totally hysterical, "what do we do" she said almost reduced to tears, "calm down you fool"
said debbie slaping her across the face, meanwhile alion lit her pipe and pondered. then there was a loud and resounding woosh!!. and then west end girls by the pet shop boys, started blasting out of the craft, "my god its awfull" shouted james runningfrom the room, just then there was a another enormous blast of sound and light!!, and then there was silence......

back in the pub ellie was wondering where everyone was, "i can't understand it, joe and louise never miss a drink"
"there must be something up" said rii thrusting her darts into the board, then in came julia, "there you are, where have you been?" asked ellie, "no time for this bollocks" said julia, "the spaceship has just flown out of the ground"
"right back to the farmhouse" said ellie pulling a shotgun out from under the counter, so they all ran back to the house,
when they returned, they found emily looking rather odd, and arthur looking quite well, "what he hell has happened here"
asked rii, "we will tell you in the morning" said joe, "for now, i will take that shotgun ellie, and alion, anna and me will stay up and watch, just then the door slowly opened, and there standing on the doorstep stood luke!!!!!!!!.......................


NEXT CHAPTER WHERE THE HELL HAS LUKE BEEN?? WILL THEY EVER FINISH THE DARTS CHAMPIONSHIP!?
AND WILL ROBYNS GIANT BADGER WORK????

Fields of Nozzles - Part 14

night had fallen, as Suz, Emma and the all the guys, headed for home, "i simply can't wait to see everyone" said Charlotte,
"i haven't seen them for about 6 months" "yes we all look forward to seeing them" added Jo c,
"i don't even know who this Joe bloke is" said Tim, "but it sounds fun" he hastened to add, "i just hope we don't run into any wolves again" said Emma, "i hope Sophie has been behaving while she has been away" said Kathrine,
"yeah she has been strangely quiet" replied Suz, "still we will be there by morning" said Becca, "yes" added Ingham,
"it will be nice to be in the country"

back at the pub Ellie was pouring pints, (and drinking them) Rii was clearing glass's, and everyone else was making ready for the darts competition, "well we're up first" said Tom, "against the mighty Debbie and Joe" "yes we will have to play hard"
replied Jess, meanwhile Joe was devising tactics, "we will lull them into a false sense of sercurity" he said to Debz in a hushed voice, "and then when the papers have found their new flavour of the month, they'll find this cat has claws!!"
"yes" said Debbie approvingly, "just one small question" "shoot from the hip Debz, its always been your style" replied Joe,
"why are you talking such complete and utter bollocks!!" "anyway we will win" said Joe a little embarassed,
"right" said reena importantly, "first up, Jess and Tom, versus Joe and Debbie, please take your stance, fisrt leg first set,
and play" "boy she takes it all very seriously" said Tom rather worried,
so after 8 legs it was, Joe and Debbie 1set and 2legs to Tom and Jess with no sets and 2legs,

back on the trail it was time to start thinking about stoping for the night, "yes i think we should stop just ahead"
said Suz, "one question" said Kathrine, "yeah what" asked Suz, "well why does Joe spell my name with a k in this story?"
"because hes a wanker" replied Suz, "oh right well that sorts that out" said Cathrine, so after another mile or so, they camped for the night,"well night everyone" said Emma, "yes" said Jo c, "tomorrow we will see all our friends"

"thats it we have won" shouted Debbie leaping into the air, "good show Debz" said Joe looking very proud,
"its all your fault Tom" said Jess smacking him round the back of the head, "what did i do" he asked bemused,
"well for a start you didn't even wear your lucky mokosons" she replied, "anyway we'll get throu in the playoffs" she said,
"well everyone i think we should be off now" said Joe in an important voice, "well played everyone" he said smirking"
so everyone headed home, while Ellie and Rii with help from Jeni, cleared up all the blood and tended to the dying and wounded,
"Debbie is very good and all, but i with she would just watch what shes doing a bit more" said Ellie, "this is my pub, and i want it to have a good reputation" "by the way" said Jeni, "what happened to Alf?" "oh he moved away" replied Ellie casually,

so when everyone had gone to bed, bar Julia p, Sophie and Joe, they all played strip cluedo and ate roast camel,
"this is fun" said Julia p "staying up late and playing games and stuff" "yes it is a laugh isn't it" replied Sophie, "but we musn't forget why we are here" Joe reminded them, "we have to look out for any alien goings on" "mm" replied Julia p "its all very odd isn't it? "morning came and people started to get up, Sophie was asleep on the table, Joe was reading about the paranormal,
and Julia was tying peices of string together, "why are you doing that" asked Anna looking at Julia p, "its somthing to do i suppose,
its better than listening to Joe prattling on about aliens and stuff" she said tying furiously,

"right who wants food" said Reena coming out of her room, "me" shouted Arthur "i'm starved" he said, "i'll get a brew on then" said Jo, meanwhile Louise and Viki were mucking out the horse's "i can't believe one of them won" said Viki still very pleased with herself, "well i trained them" said Louise proudly, just then Carlos walked in, "have you seen Emily?" he asked looking rather worried, "no we haven't, we thaught she was with you" answered Viki, "oh well i will keep looking" he said walking off,
"well i hope all is well with Suz and the guys" said Viki, "yeah we'll find out soon enough i hope" replied Louise, "we should see them by lunch time i hope" back indoors breakfast was ready, "right lets eat" announced Reena, "one question" said Robyn,
"is curry really a morning sort of food?" "curry is good for any time of the day" Reena replied,

so after breakfast, while Robyn and James warmed up for their match against Ellie and Emma, and Ellie and Rii went to the tavern to open up, everyone else was very excited about seeing all their friends, "oh i do hope they are ok" said Jeni,
"they'll be fine" said Jess, Carlos came into the living room, "i still can't find Emily, i'm beginning to get worried" "yes it is odd for her to disapear like this" replied Joe thinking hard, just then Tom came belting down the path, "thier coming thier coming" he shouted, so everyone ran outside to see, "why is there only one wagon" wondered Alion, "i hope everything is ok" she said,
just then Emma came galloping up, "we are all ok" she said, "but we bring sad news, wolves have raided and destroyed hopmoe!!"
"oh no, was anyone hurt?" asked Alion, "everyone was slane and burned in the raid" replied Charlotte, leading the wagon,
"this is terrible" said Joe, "it means the wolves are on the move, and could turn up anywhere" "yes i hadn't thaught of that"
said Cathrine, "anyway come inside, we have much to talk about!!!".........



NEXT CHAPTER, MORE DARTS FUN, THE KILLER RABBITS BECOME A PROBLEM, AND SOMEONE TURNS UP AGAIN!!!!!

Fields of Nozzles - Part 13

in the pub Rii was preparing for the evenings customers, "it will be busy tonight" she said to Alf, the tavern owner,
"yes i expect so" he replied, "i was thinking of selling up actually" "really" said Rii, "yes well i'm not getting any younger, and i feel its time to wind down" he said, just then Louise and Joe arrived, "evening Alf" Joe said cheerfully,
"evening joe" he replied, "hi guys" said Rii, "pint please" said Louise, "same for me thanks" added Joe.
"can i have a word please Alf?" asked Ellie,

back home everyone else was busy, Jess was writing more of her song, Tom was mending a hole in his mokasons,
Emily and Carlos where in the barn (wink wink nudge nudge) Jo was brewing some more nozzle leaf tea,
and James was changing the bandage on his arm, "ooh it looks all green and smells of almonds" he said worriedly,
"it'll be fine" said Reena, "hows the head Arthur?" asked Tom sowing away, "not bad thanks, a little painfull" replied Arthur,
"i can't wait for Kathrine to join us tomorrow" said Sophie excitedly, "yes it will be cool when eveyone else gets here" said Debbie,
in the conservatory, Julia p and Emma were talking, "i do hope i see Wendy again" Emma said sadly, "i'm sure we will" said Julia p, "i know she was annoyingly clever but so am i, i suppose" said Emma, just then Viki came in with a armadillo on her shoulder,
"what is that?" asked Julia looking rather bemused, "oh this is coco, i found him in the field" "ar hes soo cute" said Debbie walking in.

back in the tavern, Louise and Joe were a little worried, "they have been an awfully long time in there" said Louise,
"i know i wonder what is happening" replied Joe, just then there was a loud thunk followed by a thud,
just then Ellie came throu the door, pulling a large brown sack, "help me with this nonce will ya" she asked,
"Ellie what have you done?" asked Louise completely shocked, "he didn't want to sell afterall, but i changed his mind"
"well come on then help me bury this geezer" she said crossly, "ok ok" said Joe, "come on Louise lets get it over with"
so out the back in the beer garden, while Ellie cut Alf up with a hacksaw, Louise and Joe dug a large hole,
"phew this is hard work" Louise complained. "come on i used to do this every day when i worked for NASA" said Joe,
so after Alf was well and truly mutilated, and Joe and Louise had finished the hole, in went Alf belongings and all,
"well thats that done" said Ellie, "and no harm done to anybody, well pretty much"

"well i'm off to bed" said Emily coming in from the barn, "where's Carlos then" asked Jess, "he's gone to bed in his shed" replied Emily, "so hows it going then?" asked Alion excitedly, "not bad not bad" replied Emily smugly, "well i'm off to bed too" said Anna,
"night Anna" said James picking again at his arm, so when eveyone had gone to bed, apart from Tom, who was waiting for Louise and Joe, just then Ellie walked in holding a baseball bat, "oh hi Ellie, whats that for" asked Tom, "oh nothing just, practicing my swing" she replied, "anyway i'm off to bed, night" "what a night" said Joe stumbling in, "ready for the night then?" asked Tom,
"not really but i will wake up" answered Joe, "right i'll get the kettle on then" said Louise, walking in.

next day everyone was up talking about the darts competition, Debbie was doing her special warmup routine,
Ellie was practicing downing pints, James was still trying to work out what 3 20s were, and Joe was polishing his dart shafts,
"tonight will be fun" said Debbie flexing her wrists, "yes i hope so" said Ellie falling down the basement stairs, with a loud crash,
just then Viki came running in, "we have trouble guys, we've got giant white killer rabbits in one of the fields!!"
"oh damn those rabbits" said Robyn throthing at the mouth, "calm down" said Alion, "we have to think about this, how do we get rid of them" she wondered.

just a mile or so away from hopmoe, Suz and Emma were getting very excited, "i never thaught we would get out of that one"
said Emma, "yes what with the wolves and all" added Suz, but as they approached, they could see smoke billowing from the village!, "what on earth is that" wondered Emma, "whatever it is it doesn't sound good", replied Suz
as they came out into the common which surrounds the village, they saw the entire village was in ruins!!!
"what on earth has happened here" said Suz in utter horror, then out of the distance, came a figure running up to them,
as she approached they saw it was Jo c, "Jo c what has happened here?"asked Emma, "the wolves did it last night"
replied Jo c, "they came in, torched everything and stole all our valuables" she continued, "it was awfull"
"was anyone hurt" asked Suz, "everyone is dead, except me, Tim, Kathrine Scot, Mark, Ingham, Charlotte and Becca,
"this is terrible" said Emma, "have you any wagons to come back with you?" she asked, "only one" said Charlotte,
running towards them, "right lets be off before they return" said Suz looking solemn.

in the tavern, unaware of the plight of hopmoe, everyone was getting ready for the big championship,
"right here are the teams" announced Reena who was not taking part, "group A, Joe & Debbie, Ellie & Emma,
Tom & Jess, and Robyn & James, group B, Louise & Viki, Emily & Carlos, Jeni & Susie, and Wilko & Alion,
group C, Arthur & Julia, Julia p & Sophie, Jo & Rii, and Sarah & Anna," "now" she continued the two winners of each group go throu, plus 2 from the play offs, then there will be q finals semi's and the final, the winning team gets a trophy and a frozen pre jurrasic nozzle" "well lets go for it" said joe, "let the games begin!!!".........


NEXT CHAPTER SUZ AND EMMA RETURN WITH THE GUYS!!!!!! THE DARTS GET UNDERWAY, AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!!!!!!

Fields of Nozzles - Part 12

"well i think we should go home now louise, its 2.30am" said joe "yes i've been waiting for you to say that" said rii,
"this place closes at 12 you know" "yeah sorry about that" said louise stumbling out the door,
"laters rii" said joe triping over a stool, so as they walked home, about 500 yards, "i wonder how arthur is?" said louise,
"well we will find out soon, reena is a very good surgeon tho" "yeah she rocks" added louise,

so back at the farmhouse, jo was making tea for reena, "where have you been?" she asked crossly,
"we have been relaxing, after a very long day" replied joe, "make that tea for 4 will ya jo" added louise,
"well its for 6 actually, julia is still up and so is jess writing her nozzle song, "oh right, how is julia?" asked joe,
"shes ok considering" jo replied, upstairs reena had nearly finished, "well thats that" she said,
just then joe came in, "so what do you think?" she asked, "mm reena, i don't know how to say this, you've sowed it to his shoulder, "oh well it will do" she said casually, "yeah i suppose so" said joe "i'm too tired to be bothered"
down stairs, jo was off to bed, "well seeya tomora robyn" she said, as jeni and robyn came down stairs for their night lookout.
"good night all, see you all up early in the morning" said joe, "night joe" said louise heading for the stairs,

so jeni, robyn and joe talked of nozzles aliens and darts championships, "yes i love darts" said jeni,
" good we will play tomorrow night in the pub" said robyn, "yes it will be cool" said joe.........
the clock struck 7am. "well i hope they are up soon, we have much to do today" said joe in an important voice,
"morning" said jo walking down the stairs and heading for the kitchen, "morning jo" replied jeni,
so after much laughing and some dancing, breakfast was over and everyone headed out the door, to continue their chores,
"oh i forgot to ask you viki" said emily, "how did your horse's do?" "not bad thanks, one came 1st and the other came 3rd"
"cool" said emily, just then arthur came out of the house, "morning everyone" he said, "i feel like shit, and my shoulder itches" "yeah it'll do that" replied wilko sarcastically, "well i'm glad you are ok amnway" said tom "you gave us quite a shock"

so after many hours of working with the horse's, and in the fields, it was time for some tea and wine,
"right lets go lads, well done everyone we have completed the preperation for next years harvest" said joe "yes time for lots of fun now" added james, so anna, rii and debbie prepared some dinner, while jo got the kettle on, "so whos coming out tonight?" asked louise, "i can't i have no money" replied james, "yeah and i can't get there" added robyn, "i'm diving again sorry" said debbie, "me neither i live in hatfield" added emily,
"oh well just you and me then louise" said joe, "you ok arthur" asked julia p, "you look a little pale" "well i can't eat can i,
where do i put the food?" "just stuff it down the hole" said james, shoving a bakewell tart down his neck.
"ow quit it mate" screamed arthur, "don't be such a baby" said julia,

meanwhile suz and emma were rather lost. "i have no idea where we are emma" said suz "no neither do i" replied emma,
"still we got away from those wolves" said suz looking on the bright side, "yes for now anyway" replied emma,
"i would not be suprised if we see them again" "mm i hope not" suz replied, "anyway i think we should go this way"
said emma, "its getting dark, and we need somwhere to camp for the night" a few miles on, it was getting dark,
"yes i think this little glade will do for tonight" said suz, "right i'll get the blankets out then" replied emma
"yes tomorrow we shall arrive in hopmoe, i hope!!!!!" said suz.........

back at the farmhouse it ws time for louise and joe to be off to the pub, "i was thinking" said ellie, "i might put a bid in to buy the tavern" "well i think thats a good idea" replied joe, "it sells your ale and wine as it is, and rii works there"
"yes she could put in a good word for you" added louise,"anyway we must be off" said joe in a hurry to get plastered,
"right lets go then" said louise just checking the mirror, "i think i might come afterall and have a word" said ellie,
"good idea" replied joe, "that reminds me" wondererd ellie, "whos up for watch tonight?" "louise, tom and me" replied joe,
"anyway lets go"...................


NEXT CHAPTER, DARTS AT THE PUB!!!! SUZ AND EMMA REACH HOPMOE, BUT WHAT DO THEY FIND WHEN THEY GET THERE??? AND ELLIE BIDS FOR THE TAVERN!!

Fields of Nozzles - Part 11

the clock struck 7.am, jo was asleep on the floor, ellie was drinking her wine, and debbie and joe were playing scrabble,
"ha ha i win again" said joe laughing, "oh bollocks" said debbie, just then jeni came down the stairs, "hiya, want some breaky?" "yes please" replied joe, just then suz came down the stairs, "hiya everyone" she said,
"hey suz, ready for the off then?" asked joe, "yes i think so" she replied, "tho emma is a little nervous about the wolves"
just then jo woke up, "oh morning" she said yawning again, "i'll get the kettle on" "sounds good" said james bounding down the stairs, "your drinking early" said robyn looking at ellie, "well its never too early to start" she replied,
"morning" said emma looking very tired, "i did not sleep well last night thinking about today" she said,
"well we will have to get you packed after breakfast" said joe in an important voice, "you must leave early, if you want to be back by thursday" "are the horse's ready viki?" asked louise, "yes they are fed and ready to go" she replied.

so after breakfast and a cup of tea, everyone came outside, to help load the horse's, and see them off,
"please take monkey with you" pleaded james, "why?" asked emma, "because i want him buried in the garden where he was conceived, he replied, "ok" said emma touching him on the shoulder sympatheticly,
so everyone waved goodbye. "see you all soon" yelled suz, riding straight into a hedge, "ooh thats gotta hurt" said jess grimicing, "well lets go inside, and discuss the spacecraft" said joe, "yes and talk to the walls" said susie, "mm indeed"
said wilko, in a somwhat superior attitude,

so inside the house, it was time for a cup of tea, and a warm glass of efluence, "so what are we gonna do about this spacecraft?" asked james, "well first we have to find it" joe reminded them, "yes true" said arthur,
"but where the hell is it" he wondered, "well for now we will have to keep a look out, and stay up each night to ensure our safety" said debbie, "yes whos up tonight?" asked tom, "jeni, robyn and me" replied joe, "how come you stay up every night?" asked tom, "well i was born without eyelids" answered joe, "therefore i am unable to sleep"
"touche" said alion,

"well we better start on the preparation of the fields" said joe, "yes" said emma, "lets" so everyone got stuck into their work,
so after many hours of work, and thousands of cups of tea, it was nearly 6.pm, and arthur was working next to the plow,
which tom was driving, "watch out" shouted tom in alarm, as arthur knelt down to pick up a dogend, splat!!!!!
as his head went flying throu the air, and landed in the middle of emilys kebab, "oh my goodness" she said, "are you ok?"
"i dought he can reply emily" said julia crossly, "oh right" replied emily eating the rest of her kebab,
"right quick put his head in between some frozen peas" said joe seriously, so jess ran into the house, to find some frozen beverages, "tom help me carry this bastard" shouted joe, while debbie collected the tools and shoved them in the shed,
back indoors arthur was slumped in a big chair, "so what now" asked anna, "i will ring the ambulance" said reena,
"but we have no ambulance service out here" pointed out jo, "well i will have to sow him up myself" said reena,
"right" said debz, "sophie you help her, julia p get whatever she wants, and i will get the whiskey"

so everyone did as they were told, and reena begun to prepare for surgery, "i will need somthing stronger than cotton for the stiching, "what about nozzle leaf fibres?" suggested alion, "what a good idea" said jeni, "right hurry up emily go get some leafs left over from the harvest" said joe, "rightoh" she said, running for the door, "i can't take all this. i'm off to the pub"
said louise, "yes i will join you when i have finished sorting here" replied joe, so reena started the 7 hour surgery,
it was very tedius but she took it all in her pride, "right i'm off to the pub" said joe, "anyone coming?"
"i can't i'm babysitting" said alion, "me neither, i'm diving" replied debbie, "yeah and i went out last week, so i'm tired"
said jo yawning, "i'm visiting tom" said jess, "but he lives here" replied joe exasperated, "yeah well sorry" she said.
in the tavern, rii was serving louise, "what'll it be?" she asked, "a pint of ellies finest ale please" she said,
"rightoh, ale it is" just then joe came in, "i pint please rii" he said, "what a day, i tell you, what will happen next?"

"where the hell are we?" asked suz, "i have no idea" replied emma, "and i'm so cold" grrrrrrr!!!!!!
"what was that?" asked suz????????????...............................


NEXT CHAPTER, IS ARTHUR OK? WHAT HAPPENS TO SUZ AND EMMA? AND WILL ANYONE COME TO THE PUB...
EVER???