Saturday, 5 January 2002

CHAPTER 5 FIELDS OF NOZZLES VOLUME 2. FRIENDS AND FOE

0030 hours, 19,03,2004 the mug and nonce.
"who wants another drink?" offered simon b flashing his cash. "i'll have a pint please" said viki. "yeah me too please" said alion downing her first. "anyone else?" asked simon b. "go on then" said joe, "i've only had 9!" rii came round to collect the glasses.
"what! 19 pounds for five drinks, you must be joking" "sorry simon thats what fatbob said, not my fault i'm afraid" said ellie a little embarressed. "i was thinking fatbob, now your going to have entertainments, could i play my guitar in your pub?" asked james.
"i have an even better idea, why don't we start a band" suggested fatbob, longing to play his album.
"what a wikid idea, and alion could join us too, with a little practice" said james. "cool, now we need a name" said fatbob.
"how about, indidgenous swamp cats" suggested susie. "mm maybe not" said alion trying not to sound rude.
"well we'll think of something i'm sure" said james.
0225 hours, 19,03,2004 still in the mug and nonce.
"come on people time to go, i would like to get some sleep tonight" said ellie drinking from the slop trays. "ellies right, come on lets be off" said joe in an important voice. so everyone fell out of the mug and nonce, and stumbled across the compound to the farmhouse. inside viki got the ouzo out and 42 shots glasses. "right strip monopoly anyone?" suggested julia lord.
"go on then just a couple of games" said emma lockton. "i would rather play, how do you eat yours? the cadburys cream egg game" said anna. "well maybe later, first we will play a little strip monopoly" said joe pouring another ouzo.
0345 hours, 19,03,2004 farmhouse social room.
"yey i win again" shouted emma greenhill. "oh damn thats three in a row now, how do you do it" said tom throwing his counter across the room. "are you ok julia p?" asked reena rather concerned. "you've had an awfull lot to drink tonight"
"shes fine, another beer julia?" said fatbob holding an array of bottles, and puffing on a cig all at once. "i think i'll lie down for a bit"
said julia keeling over onto the sofa, out cold. "fair enough" said suzanne. "i'll have that then shall i" she said taking a fosters of fatbob. "right i think its bedtime everyone, bidge has been in bed for 6 hours already" said joe picking himself of the floor.
"yeah i guess joes right, we have to start on the nozzles tomora remember" said debbie. "yes true, well i'm off night night everyone"
said becca. so everyone went to bed bar joe who decided to watch a television program about shoe laces of the first century,
and their influence on neolithic architecture. and fatbob of course who stayed up all night finishing his btec course work.
"well fatbob, its 7am how about a kebab?" said joe yawning. "yeah go on then" replied fatbob writing furiously.
"morning you two" said bidge walking down the stairs. "cup of tea?" "yes please jo, that reminds me time for a fag" replied fatbob.
"morning joe" said matt bounding down the stairs. "morning matt, want a brew jo's just getting one on" offered joe.
"no thanks i'll go for a run first i think" replied matt as he headed out the door onto the veranda. "why don't we have breakfast on the veranda today" suggested bidge from the kitchen. "excellant idea" said luke. so everyone comuned on the veranda for a breakfast of kebabs, nozzle toast and fresh wolfberry juice. "now today we have lots to do" began joe helping himself to slices 9 and 10 of toast
"alion, robyn and louise, you will continue your research into the nozzles. charlotte, viki and julia lord, you will go to the market in the next village to purchase some horses. some of you can finish the second barn and the kebab shop" said joe.
"right lets go for it" said wendy getting very worked up.
0900 hours, 19,03,2004 barn secter 2.
"wow this just gets better and better" said jeni unearthing yet another foot of spine. "that must be at least nine metres now"
"this is cool jeni, theres no sign of it finishing yet either" said jess scraping away with her trowel. "yes i hope its bigger than this, that means its a theogigantersaurus, the largest carnivore that ever lived" replied jeni. "could you please hurry up, we want to finish this you know" said alan quite unsympatheticly. "these things take time you know" said ellie. "patience please" she continued.
over at the sit eof the kebab shop, things were going swimmingly. "yes thats it" said fatbob directing the steel into place.
"left a bit, and the right closer to the left, that'll do" he said sighing. back at the house, bidge was brewing her nozzle tea,
when there was a loud knock at the door. "i wonder who that will be" said bidge to herself. she opened the door gingerly.
"garath what are you doing here" she gasped, very suprised to see her husband. "hi babe i've missed ya, why'd ya leave babe,
your big and your good, and your a woman, and your great babe, its tuesday babe come home"
"no garath, look i know i just dissapeared but your just soo anal, i cab't live wit hthat forever" she replied quite firmly.
"but babe your good and your big and your a woman, please come home babe, i love ya and you make great tea babe"
"look go away or i will set the sheep on you" she replied, as wilko and his kids peared round the door holding crowbars.
"ok babe, love you babe, coz your big and good and your a woman, bye babe, bye good" "what was all that about?" asked wilko relaxing his grip on a golf club. "i forgot to say goodbye i guess" said bidge. "anyway back to the tea"
1200 hours, 21,03,2004 south nozzle fields.
so many days passed all the buildings were finished, and the picket fence was up. the planting was beginnig for the edible nozzle plants. "well i can't wait till we can taste these nozzles" said jess. "yes and we don't have nasty rabbits to contend with either" said robyn frothing at the mouth. "ok calm down robyn, there gone now remember" said james trying to comfort her. "yes but those nasty evil smelly rabbits" continued robyn working herself into a bit of a panic. "ok ok robyn, here take your anti rabbit inflamitary breatherliser" said james. (who always carrys one just in case) meanwhile ellie and jeni were setting up there dinosaur in the second barn. "there finished, looks great don't it" said jeni standing back. "not bad not bad, i've seen better" said ellie. "but really it needs sideburns for a start" "yes and a rowing boat" agreed jeni. that evening in the mug and nonce, everyone was enjoying a quite drink, when two strangers walked in. "oh here we go, what have we here then" said freeman. "hello" said a tall man dressed in jungle clothing. "i'm nick morton, and this is my sherper mini nick" "hello all" said mini nick waving to everyone.
"welcome welcome, have a seat, what can i get you?" asked fatbob. "i'll have a stella please" replied nick. "same for me thanks" added mini nick. "rii, two pints of our finest stella please" called fatbob. "with ice?" asked rii. "yes please" replied mini nick.
0100 hours, 22,03,2004 mug and nonce.
"so there i was up on that mountain all on my lonesome. with nothing to eat but yak shit" said nick m, still telling storys of all his travels. "so what do you do when your not traveling" asked becca. "well i write about my travels, but most of the time i am traveling"
replied nick downing his eleventh pint. "and how did you meet mini nick?" asked jim. (jo) "well i was visiting a garage to rent an offroad vehicle, and he was working there doing up old minis" said nick. "yes and i wanted to leave anyway, so i joined him on his travels to have a little adventure" added mini nick. "well everyone it has been a good evening, but i am sure ellie and rii would like some sleep, so shall we retire to the farmhouse" said joe yawning. "yes i am tired" said sophie stretching. "lets have a quick game of something first tho" she added. "well first things first people" said joe. "surely a kebab!!!!"

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