CHAPTER 3 FIELDS OF NOZZLES VOLUME 2. VILLAGERS TOUCHE

0400 hours,14,03,2004 2 miles outside qoutak.
"now when we arrive, first things first we must meet with the village chief" said joe in an important voice."yes we must have their complete support" agreed debbie, "its funny" whispered james to robyn, "but joe and debbie seem to be getting on very well, considering their divorced and all" "yes, well maybe their regretting it" replied robyn pondering, "STOP" shouted fatbob, "what" asked alion, "theres a pub" replied fatbob, "right everyone out, my round" said joe jumping out of the truck,
so inside it was mooters beer all round, (mooters being the only beer in zambia) "so have we got to build a farm this time then"
asked arthur, holding double pints, "yes we will have to start with wood, and eventually we will build a proper farmhouse"
replied joe, opening another packet of peanuts, "and we will have to build sheds and barns too" said matt, getting out some tesco sultanas from his bag. "yes thats right, but we will have lots of help" said joe, "and also we will have to buy some cattle to work some of the machinery, and carry goods to and fro" said louise, looking forward to using her vetting abilities.
"right come on lads drink up, said simon freeman, swallowing hard. back on the road they soon reached their destination.
as they drove throught qoutak, lots of little brown faces came running up to the truck, laughing and talking.
"arr look at the little guys" said debbie. when everyone had got off the truck, joe walked up to someone who looked responsible.
"excuse me, can i speak with your chief please" he asked slowly, "yes yes dis way please" replied the tall man, in pidgeon english. the man lead joe into a large hut with painted walls, and lots of rugs on the floor, there was the chief sitting on a large wicker chair, with a flagon of whisky, the man said something to him in swahili, "arr dis is good what dat man say" said the chief getting up off his seat to shake joes hand. "hello i am joe paul, nice to meet you" said joe curteously.
"hello, me barry smith" replied the chief, "thats not a very african name is it" said joe quite surprised, "na my father was scottish" replied barry. "ok" said joe slightly startled. "anyway the reason i am here, is that i am planning on starting a nozzle farm up the road and i was hoping that you would let me use some of your villagers to help build it. and maybe give us somewhere to stay just while we build finish building it" "oh yes yes dat not problem notsoever" replied barry, offering him some whisky.
"oh thankyou, but i must be off now too get unpacked" said joe, so shaking everyones hands, he made his way back outside.
"everything ok joe?" asked tom, "yup we're sorted" replied joe, "and we can stay in the village till we get some acomadation ready at the site" "cool" said rii, so they all piled back into the truck and made the final half mile trip to a vast clearing.
"this looks perfect" said sophie. so when everything had been unpacked, everyone made the short walk back down the hill to the village, in the warm dusk air, with only the sound of crickets and other insects in the still air.
0500 hours, 15,03,2004 qoutak village.
"come on people, get up there is things to do" said joe quite anally, kicking james in the knackers in his sleeping bag.
"ok ok i'm up" said james rolling onto the floor. everyone was staying in a large wooden hut, and the villagers had promised them all breakfast. so when everyone was up and dressed, they all headed towards the main eating hall, in the centre of the village.
inside there was a lovely array of continental brunch, croissants, fruit salad, chocolate chip rolls and fresh squeezed orange juice.
"and i thought it was supposed to be uncivilised out here" said tom tucking in. so when everyone had eaten, and chatted about the day activities, it was time to get to work on the main farm building. "now barry, can we borrow some of your villagers to help us gather wood for our farm, we will pay them of course" said joe in an important voice. "yes yes, dis very good ting dat you me tell"
said barry rubbing his hands. "brilliant" said fatbob, taking another helping of flaun. so the chief lead everyone outside and to the village hall, where everyone was gathered, holding spades, forks and other building implements, one tall man even had a kango hammer.
0900 hours, 15,03,2004 site of farm.
so everyone got stuck in to the clearing of the area. "so when will we see ellie and everyone else?" asked charlotte.
"ar well i am supposed to ring Dr drakes today, to find out what is happening to them" replied joe. "hopefully they will be ready to meet tomorrow" so later that day, while they were having there tea break joe rang Dr Drakes. "yes hello Dr, oh i see, great thankyou" "so" asked reena. "well we can meet them at the airport, tomorrow morning" replied joe looking pleased.
"brilliant" said julia percival, who had been missing her best friend rather alot. "so joe can i build my pub now" asked fatbob.
"well i would rather we finish building the main farmhouse before starting any other major projects" answered joe, while sawing up a log with a nail file. "ok" said fatbob sounding rather disapointed. "once this is up, we can start everything else. we will need a lab, at least 2 barns for storing and sorting the nozzles, a cow shed for the cattle, your pub and of course the kebab shop" said joe getting very excited. so that evening everyone headed back to the village for dinner. "so what are we eating tonight?" asked luke, rubbing his belly. "well whatever they have to offer us" replied joe. inside the main eating hall all the village was gathered. emily and carlos reseived their food and then went off to eat alone. everyone else gathered around a vast table and dug in. "so simon" said charlotte, looking at simon clark. "are you really a super hero?" "well yeah, i was born with 4 stomachs, and the power to store power in my bladder" replied simon, sortingt through his food. "i see, so can you polish a turd?" asked charlotte. "don't be stupid, you can't polish a turd" replied simon. after dinner neil went to work on the farm again, "you not staying for kareoke?" asked alion.
"can't i'm working late tonight" he said stroling off. so when all the tables had been cleared, it was time for kareoke, hosted by tiny guy. a 3' 7" midget named gaston. (he was a french camaroon) monty was up there like a shot to sing her version of spiderwebs by no doubt. to much applause and lots of flying bottles, mainly from simon b. "good news everyone" said joe standing on a chair.
"sim is coming over with ellie and the guys to work in fatbobs pub. he was sacked from the okapi and penguin, for selling beer to 9 year olds" "wicked, we can terrorise him" said alion skipping round the hut. "yeah and get him pissed" said fatbob, smoking heavily and counting hie coppers to see if he had enough money to buy a cup of rosy lea, from the dispenser machine.
so when many a merry time had been had by all, and charlotte had pulled super simon, plus simon freeman and alan had had many a downing competition. it was time to go home.
0700 hours, 16,03,2004 camp site for the intrepid explorers.
"right who wants to come with me to the airport?" asked joe putting on his trainers. "i will" replied julia, trying not to fall out of the tent, while pulling on her jumper. "yeah why not" said ingham, saves me working. "anyone else" asked joe. " i will" spoke up jess. "i obviously won't be in the story unless i do, so i don't see why not" "right lets go, no time for breakfast i'm afraid, only a quick cup of tea" so half an hour later they were off. meanwhile lead by debbie, everyone carried on with farmhouse, "now come on people"
she said cracking her whip!. "we have to finish this today" "but what if it rains" asked jo cross. "SILENCE" shouted debbie smacking jo across the face. at the airport, joe, jess, ingham and julia percival, were all waiting in the entrance lobby for their beloved friends. (and ellie, hehe) "here they come" said jess. "ELLIE!" shouted julia running obver to her, as she passed through the security barriers. "julia, how are you?" said ellie looking tired form the long trip. "not not, you look very well" replied julia.
"hey! catherine, susie and suz!" said joe as they also appeared. "this is soo cool, all the guys back together again" said jess in hysterics. "yes now who wants mcdonalds" said joe, "me!!!" said catherine, "i'm starving" "well you haven't eaten in 3 years" said jess. "very true" pondered catherine.
1300 hours, 16,03,2004 site of proposed farm.
"who wants salsa on toast" shouted alion, from her tent. "everyone i think" shouted back viki. just then matt came out of the trees.
"first thing we are installing is toilets" he said, zipping up his flys. "lunch is ready" shouted alion very loudly from her tent, walking out with a huge tray of toast and cheese. "yey food" said arthur grabbing quite some considerable quantities of toast.
"oi greedy, save some for me" said julia lord. "you always did this when i worked in cravings" "yeah whatever" replied arthur scoffing away. "hey here comes joe and the guys" said jeni, pearing through her binoculers. "hooray, everyone back together again" said anna waving her arms madly. as the truck pulled up, everyone gathered around to see what was happening.
"stand back please, they are a little tired, they've had a long flight" said joe.
out stepped ellie and suzanne and everyone else, even sim was there looking even taller. (he had grown 4"s during the flight!!)
"well everyone come on lets have a drink to celebrate!!!!!!