CHAPTER 2 FIELDS OF NOZZLES VOLUME 2. HEROS AND SHEEP

2200 hours, 12,03,2004
"zambia!!" said charlotte quite amazed, "yes zambia, a small village called qoutak to be precise" replied joe,
"well just a few miles up the road from it" "this is a brilliant idea" added jess, "yes but why zambia?" asked alion.
"because, their is very little food, and very little work in zambia, so i figured we could genetically modify our original nozzles,
to feed the poor people of qoutak, and we could also employ the villagers to work on the land" said joe, excitedly.
"genius" added fatbob, lighting up yet again, "but wait a minute" said arthur, all our nozzles and stuff are back in the ruins of our farmhouse in tollyhot" "well we will just have to go back won't we" replied joe. "yes and we can collect some of our worldly posessions while we are there" added james, "yes good idea" said julia p, "right come on people" said luke, "to the plane"
on board everyone laughed and joked, and remembered the good times they had had back in the day, "this new farm is going to be so cool" said anna, "we can play strip monopoly again, and scrabble" "yes and we never did finish that darts competition" added alion, "no very true" replied joe, "how about it debbie you game for keeping up our unbeaten record?" he asked,
"yeah sure" replied debbie smiling.
0930 hours, 13,03,2004 gatwick airport
"well here we all are again" said tom stretching as he stepped off the plane, "well yeah except ellie, suz, catherine and susie, said julia, "but they will be with us soon" added emma g. "right where's the nearest pub" said fatbob licking his lips.
"theres the queen of dweesberg, just up the road" replied joe, counting his notes, so off went everyone to the pub, to discuss what to do next. "well i think we should hire a minibus to start with, so we can get everything into it" said joe in an important voice.
"yes and then we can take it all to the airport" added viki, "good, right come on people drinkup and we'll be off" said jess,
(in a very friendly not atal officious voice mind) so off went everyone to find a hire place, eventually they found "hire a deathtrap"
"this looks like the sort of place we want" said matt eyeing it up. so off they all went, playing kid a all the way.
1230 hours, 13,03,2004 site of tollyhot farmhouse
"my goodness what a mess" said emily close to tears, the whole area was overgrown with weeds and trifids.
"lets go inside" said joe. so simon f and simon c barged throught the back door into the kitchen, "what a mess" said louise,
everything had been tipped over and emptied all over the floor. "my guitar" said james extatic with pleasure.
"my curry recipes" said reena, "arrr our strip monopoly" said julia l remembering back to those happy days.
"lets go into the living room" said robyn, "my god" screamed emma l, there on the sofa was wilko!! "what the hell are you doing here?" asked louise. "arr there you are, hows things?" replied wilko injecting himself with heroin. "your still alive" wondered wendy aloud. "no i died i really died, course i didn't i'm here you nonce" replied wilko anally. "ok ok i'm just thinking things through"
said wendy crossly. "so how come you survived the aliens" asked james, "well i struck a little deal thats all" he replied smugly.
"well i don't believe it, wilko a traiter" said robyn astonished. "i am not, i just exchanged a few goods for my personal wellbeing"
"anyway theres no time for arguments, lets gather our things and get out of here" said joe in a hurry to be off.
"hang on wheres baataur then" asked jeni, "ar well he's ok, he's cooking dinner at the mo" wilko answered relaxing on the chair.
"well if your coming with us to zambia. you better get off your fat arse and follow us" said tom. "well if i must, but can i bring pecorella?" "whos pecorella?" asked debbie, "hes my son, its italian for little sheep, hes baataurs half brother" replied wilko casually. "well ok then" answered joe. so off went everyone crammed into their little bus, all 39 of them!!!
1400 hours, 13,03,2004 heathrow airport, departure lounge
"excuse me when is our flight expected?" alion asked a flight attendent. "in half an hour miss" replied a man named neil.
"my god your fit aren't you" said alion jumping up and down. "why yes i am" replied neil "have a fag" he offered, "no thanks i only smoke a pipe" she replied lighting up seductively. "ar a sophisticated mama hey? i like it" he said smirking.
"come to zambia with us" she said, "there will be monopoly, scrabble, picnics and everso many romantic misunderstandings" asked alion, "ok" said neil hanging up his easyjet jacket. "yey" said alion jumping even more. "look everyone i've got another one for the trip" she said dragging him over to the others. "cool" said luke. "oh heres our flight, come on people here we go" said joe.
on board it was time to sleep, relax and chat. "so who are you exactly" asked jo pouring out a brew, and looking at neil.
"well i used to be a lifeguard till 2 years ago, but i was sacked for raping a pidgeon on the flumes" replied neil, "then i joined easyjet but there money is crap, so i figured i would come with you" "here have some out of date halloween sweets" offered a tall man dressed in army type gear and gozzling a guiness. "cheers man" said arthur grabbing a whole handfull. "so who are you?" asked sophie. "i'm alan member of the popular peoples judean front" replied alan. "cool" said sophie, "so why are you going to zambia?" she asked. "i'm hoping to find some work out there" he replied, "maybe something manual" "well you could come work with us, we're starting a nozzle farm" said sophie getting rather over excited. "ok cool, aslong as there is a crown pub"
"thats ok i'm opening a pub when we arrive and a kebab shop" butted in fatbob, "excuse me sir" said a member of staff.
"please refrain from smoking on board please" "well!! you can't do anything on planes nowadays, outragious" said fatbob, putting out his fag on alions head. "attention passengers, we seem to be experiencing severe turbulence, please put your seatbelts on and hold on tight, "fuck its windy innit" said fatbob, smoking out the open window! "fatbob! shut the window you nonce you'll kill us all" said rii, shouting over the din of wind rushing through the aircraft. "ok ok no need to be rude" he said slamming the window,
"OW!!" screamed julia p, as her arm was crushed in the window, "oh sorry julia, here have another beer" offered fatbob,
"ok" she replied, now holding 7!!
2400 hours, 13,03.2004 zambia international airport
"well here we all are" said joe tearing the top of a packet of roasted peanuts. "yes to qoutak and beyond" said james.
"right we need an offroad truck or something" said sarah m. "yes to the truck garage" said becca, "and the lion will roar on board ship" "you worry me sometimes becca" said emily, clinging onto carlos. so when they had bought a truck and loaded everything up it was time to buy a guide and some fags for fatbob, plus lots of essential items, such as medical eqipment and teabags.
and off they all were again. "theres nothing like adventure" said simon b. "yes may we have many a happy sunny day, without too many deaths or mass suicides" said joe, "we will prefail!!!!!!