chapter 18
fields of dreams
1500 hours, 15,05,2004. cattle stable.
so debbie and bidge were still working on there publishing. the pilchard pokers were preparing for their tour. and steve was ready to go back to fish land. all was well except louise, wendy and emma were now ready to start opperating on bonko. "well this is it wendy lets get started, scalpel please" "louise how come yesterday we said we had to opperate imediatly but we didn't bother till today?" asked emma confused again. "well i had a very important meeting to go to" replied louise. "what meeting louise?" asked wendy. "errm the meeting for the er pencil comittee" answered louise. "anyway lets get started" said emma pulling on her gloves. so for many hours the girls sliced and cut, stitched and sowed, pulled and pushed untill eventually. "well there we are" said louise.
"yes louise thats a very nice raspberry flan. but can we get on with the opperation" said emma exasperated. "ooh its damn good flan though" said tom and arthur digging in. "do you mind you two, we're in the middle of a very important opperation" said wendy crossly. "yes but you still had time for flan didn't you" pointed out tom running off with the plate. "hey come back with that damn flan" shouted arthur running after him! "haha" said tom. "i do worry about those two" said louise.
1000 hours, 03,06,2004. farmhouse.
so steve had gone home thanking everyone as he went. bonko was recovering well, even though he still had some flan in his kidney lining! debbies computer had crashed with a strange virus. jo c had returned from england. and the last stand of fuckwit and the pilchard pokers national zambian tour had begun. all was well when joe made his usual after breakfast "anal" speach. "now people all has been going reasonably well lately i know, but it is time for our new harvest to be planted. which we will have to start tomorrow. also alion, robyn. hows the experiments going?" he asked. "well" replied alion. "i think we can cross breed the special nozzles with the normal nozzles to make them grow ten times quicker" "yes so if we start planting tomorrow we should have nozzles in four weeks" added robyn very excited. "good good, we shall definatly start planting tomorrow then" said joe.
"viki hows the stud farm doing?" "not too bad thanks, carlos got some very decent horses" "good, now my only real concern is the very sinister nature of the nozzles, that very odd incident with filbert. thank God robyns eyebrows were there, or who knows what would of happened. and debbies computer having this strange, so it seems nozzle related virus" "yes i am quite worried about that computer, it just keeps coming up with evil nozzle related jests" said debbie pondering.
1900 hours, 04,06,2004. the girafe ironmonger pub.
"well this is it guys, the big one" said pasty. "yeah there must be at least 12 people out there" said alion peering round the curtains. "i hope we can remember everything we've practised" said essex boy. "i'm sure we'll be fine" said onion. "oh stop drinking fatbob" she said. "right lets get byork out there" said luke getting out his whip. (he had become their roady) "yes lets get on with it" said fatbob grabbing a crowbar. "are you sure thats humane, keeping her in there luke?" asked onion rather concerned. "yes of course it is" replied luke pulling off the lid of a 2foot square crate. so byork was pushed through the curtains, with her shackels still on her ankles. "ladies and gentlemen will you please welcome "the last stand of fuckwit and the pilchard pokers" and please get me a hacksaw!"
1315 hours, 05,06,2004. farmhouse.
"so debs you stunningly fit small person, have you sorted out your computer yet?" asked joe looking through his hire a clown brouchure. "well it seems ok at the moment, but i'm not very happy with it to be honest it seems to be all very sinister" replied debs looking baffled. "so can you still finish bidges book?" he asked. "well i think so, at least i have this new manual on solving virus's. and my next instalment of pc home programing" she answered flicking through. "oh well i'm sure we'll sort it out somehow"
"you mean i will, you don't know anything about this do you" said debs. "mm yeah thats right" replied joe. "now if you'll excuse me i have a shrew to teach the piano" "but you don't play the piano... oh whatever" meanwhile outside behind the dinosaur barn.
"trust me chief he's in perfect order, a bargain if you ask me" said wilko. "well tis a good good offer you show me sure, but dis very much money you ask" said barry smith stroking his chin. "i tell you what, if its all in bangers and mash. you can have him for £1100" said wilko. "come on man, i need some money, my children need heroin" "ok ok i'll take baartaur for dis price you ask, the zambian government will be very interested in him" said chief barry. "take care son, remember don't say anything about my probation" said wilko waving to baartaur.
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