chapter 19.
a barrelful of affairs.
1530 hours, 05,06,2004. main farming fields.
so everyone was working hard planting the new nozzle plants. "where's Arthur and James gone tom?" asked Catherine while taking great care deleafing a nozzle sapling. "I don't know actually Catherine, they just took off earlier" tom replied tilling away.
"Arthur stop it, this affair must end, its been going on since we moved to tollyhot" said pasty. " I know I know. but its soo hard" replied Arthur. "I reckon your right about robyn and jules though, and their sordid devilry" said pasty. "come on lets get back to planting" just then suz came running in to fetch another hoe. "oh my goodness, I knew it ever since that night in the firkin at Christmas" she said astonished. "now calm down suz we were rehearsing for a play" said pasty trying to keep control of the situation. "what was the film called hey? monkey has relations with lunatic hey is that what your trying to tell me?" said suzanne.
"yeah alright love calm down, have a banana" offered Arthur. "I don't want a damn banana art" replied suz. "ok ok, their good bananas?" just then becca came running in. "quick suz, Emily just found jules and robyn locked in a loving embrace in the grain barn...... oh I see you've got your own problems here, I'll just be off" said becca legging it out the door. "oh damn" said pasty.
2300 hours, 05,06,2004. main enjoyment sector (living room)
"well I just don't know what to do with you lot, I really don't" said Joe in an important voice pacing up and down. "I've let you do as you please like respectable adults, and look what I get in return" "er Joe, your the youngest person here" pointed out Anna.
"that's not the point" said Joe impatiently. "yes but it is the point isn't it because......." "yes alright tom I get what your saying,
the point is I don't want this sort of behaviour on my farm" "hang on a minute, what about your twisted affairs with various circus performers" said bidge. "yeah... well... that's different" "in what way Joe, I don't want you ordering kinky clown anymore" said debs quite firmly. "ok ok, lets just go down the pub" said Joe pulling on his shoes. "and the kebab shop" added fatbob, "but I do need a cashpoint first!"
0100 hours, 06,06,2004. mug and nonce.
"well I'm glad we cleared up all this affair business" said Essex boy, polishing his massive gold sovereign ring. "yes I am quite relieved I must say" agreed alion. "well it was bound to all come out eventually, I'm just glad it was over a kebab" said Arthur munching away. "Arthur your not supposed to eat in here" said jules. "yes but it tastes so good" replied Arthur. "by the way wilko, where's baartaur?" asked louise. "ar well I sort of sold him honey" replied wilko sheepishly. "what you sold our son? and don't call me honey" said louise angrily. "ok lads keep it down, you'll scare away my business" said fatbob cleaning a glass vigorously. "but fatbob us lot are your only customers" said becca just as her phone rang. "hello oh right, what right away? oh I see I'll be right there" "what was all that about becca?" asked ellie purchasing yet another packet of onion rings."erm ditch meetup in London colney, gotta go seeya guys" said becca running off up the path. "I do worry about that girl I really do" said jeni. "Luke, how's byork after this weeks gig? has she recovered from the cattle prod?" asked suzanne, kissing the right simon this time. "oh she's fine, just a little shaky" answered Luke. "well come on lads, I need a kebab" said fatbob pulling on his coat.
0200 hours, 06,06,2004. farmhouse, lads room.
"well fatbob, that was a damn good kebab. got any of that heroin?" asked Arthur rolling a cigarette. "not for you my son, not for you" replied fatbob. "so Luke why do you enjoy keeping byork in a cupboard, she keeps me up all night scratching and banging" said Arthur. "I know arth mate, the sedatives are on the way from, "subdue a whore UK.COM" then we'll all sleep soundly" said Luke.
"well lads, who's up for a bit of poker?" asked fatbob. "fatbob stop stroking that damn porcelain seal" said Luke folding shirts with a ruler. "its not my fault, robyn won't let me near her eyebrows atal until she's sure their ok" replied fatbob. "well anyway I'm going to sleep, lots more planting to do tomorrow" said Arthur lying down. "yes good idea arth, seeya in the morn for more nozzle action"
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