chapter 23
refuge of the marrow's.
1112 hours, 18,06,2004. launch pad.
so Luke ran off to get byork, while robyn and jess loaded on the necessary equipment. "right get in there byork my old chum, my old mucker, me old spittle of a half nut matey" "yeah all right Luke just sit her in and strap her up" said Joe getting awfully impatient.
"right she's all ready to go Joe" said jess jumping out of the control room. "good show, Debbie, alion fire her up. Julia p, Arthur, prepare for the countdown" said Joe looking at his watch. "right engines fired" shouted alion. "ready to go when you are Arthur" said Debbie tapping in a few final instructions. "ok chiefs, she's 3 2 1 GO!!" shouted Arthur as he let off the thrusters.
as the spacecraft started to lift of the ground and byork closed her eyes and hoped. everyone stood in ore of what they had achieved. except wilko who claimed he could of done it all by himself, and entirely out of balsa wood and fairy washing up bottles.
so as the rocket shot up into the air, it started veering off to the left. "funny I'm sure that shouldn't happen" said Julia p fumbling with the ground navigation controls. "oops, I put Grimsby, not outer space, derh!" she exclaimed a little annoyed with herself.
"what! you put Grimsby as the destination!" said tom horrified. "well lets not be too hard on her, it was easily done" said Catherine.
"easily done!, how can outer space be anything like Grimsby?" retorted tom. "well this isn't good atal" said Anna.
1134 hours, 18,06,2004. Grimsby town.
"hey look up yonder Bernard, its spacecraft of some kind" "naw its probably concorde, ya daft cow" "but its travelling awful quick for concorde" said rose pondering. "cum on gal, horses need shoeing and dog need washing" said Bernard. "but first we need potato's from garden" said ethyl peering out of a window. "ooh shite, look up yonder, spacecraft!" she shouted. "ooh bugger!!"
1203 hours, 18,06,2004. workshop.
so as the burning flames of Grimsby lit up the skyline. Julia started whistling and strolling off. "Julia, come back I think we need to make a few minor adjustments" said pasty staring. so everyone went down the pub for a pint and a rethink.
"well never mind everyone, lets start again, at least now we know exactly how to build it" said sophie. "well that's true soph" said Vikki. so everyone had another drink and discussed there building plans. "well I'm going to get a kebab" said freeman. "I'll come with you for a kingsize" said fatbob finishing his pint. "anyone want anything?" asked freeman. so fatbob and freeman strolled off down the path. "right I'm getting the drinks in, who wants what?" said bigmore getting up. "well I want your pink shirt, but I guess that's not very likely is it?" said Joe analy. "well not really mate, I love this shirt" replied bigmore. just then fatbob came running in.
"you wont believe this" said fatbob panting from the "very" short run. "what?" asked suz buying another sambuca. "the kebab shops till just shot freeman straight in the head!" "oh shit! there taking over the world" said Luke throwing himself out the window.
"right" said becca, "we have to do something, there's a whole army of self aware electrical items heading towards the village" said fatbob looking worried for the first time since his pub was burnt down by aliens all those years ago. "ok calm down everyone, pasty get the shotgun. everyone else we have to get back to the barn and make it as secure as poss" said Joe strapping on a leather girdle. "why the girdle Joe?" asked Essex boy. "I think it just looks cool" so everyone headed towards the barn.
2000 hours, 18,06,2004. spacecraft storage barn.
"well everyone we have to make this place as secure as possible, we can't let this get destroyed no matter what happens" said Joe.
"why is is so important?" asked robyn. "because if all else fails at least we may be able to escape somewhere else" "that seems very far fetched. there's no where known to man that is actually inhabitable" said Julia p. "yes well we will see" replied Joe suspiciously. just then pasty came running clutching his sacred oboe, and oboe weekly magazines. "their coming! their coming! gather what you can. we have to get out of here" he started shouting. "ok calm down paste my dear, what exactly is the situation?" asked Joe formally. "Debbie's computer has come back and is commanding a massive army of war computers!" pasty replied running around all over the gaff. "are they looking to break someone's ham and eggs then, causing a bit of bubble. coz if they are, we beta get on the dog and bone. that is unless you've got the Aristotle to take em on. coz if you have you might get a smack in the chevy chase! know what I mean" said wilko smoking a huge cigar and wearing an italian suit. "look we have to get out of here fast" said alion and ellie together. "right well we have to gather everything we can, anything any of you can think of that we might need. and get to the fish land!" said Joe packing up blueprints. "Joe's right, for a change. lets get going" said jeni.
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