"right come on now, lets have a look" said joe, looking very worried indeed, "yes, let me just get my briefcase" said rob,
inside the office, everything had been strewn all over the floor, and all the furniture had been tipped over,
"i do hope nothing is missing" said emma, tearfull to say the least, "right lets have a look, see whats been taken" said joe in an important voice, we have to know why this was done, and if it was luke, why" "yes" agreed arthur, "we must find luke, and speak to him" " well for now we will have a sort through this lot, and tomorrow we will have to send a search party out to find him" said joe,
so emma went to bed, while the guys started looking through the mess, "interesting" wondered joe, "what" asked arthur,
"the plans for the farmhouse are missing, and the deeds for the pub" replied joe, "what would luke want with those i wonder"
said rob, stroking his chin, "maybe he wants to set up a rival nozzle farm" suggested arthur, "mm. maybe" said joe,
thinking hard, so when they had finished sorting through the office, it was time for a beer, "well it doesn't seem like anything else is missing" said joe, relieved.
so in the morning, joe broke the news to everyone, at breakfast, "so we will have to send out a search party, to try and find luke"
said joe, "yes i will be leader" added alion, "and i will be public relations officer, company psychologist and informations director"
added debbie, excitedly, "mm, yes whatever you say debbie" said joe pitifully, so when breakfast was finished and lots of tea had been had by all, it was time to clear up the wolf carcases, and start planting the new harvest, "now people" said joe, standing up and rubbing his hands together, "whos doing what" "well me, debbie, charlotte, jo c and tim are going to look fro luke" said alion,
"yeah and i'm going to open up the pub" added rob, "plus i need to get to a cash machine, and buy some salmon and trout"
"right ok, i will go start the harvest, louise come with me, and i will need 15 other people" said joe,
"everyone else, start clearing up the wolves" "right come on people" said matt, enthusiastically.
so many days passed, luke was nowhere to be found, the wolves were gone for good, the new harvest was ready to plant proper,
as soon as the right weather appeared, and emily was coming home in a few days, the final of the darts championship, was thus,
debbie and joe verses jo and rii, and rob had made peace with jess and tom, plus jess had finally given up smoking, after 9 years!!
so all was quite, louise was watching the weather like a hawk, joe was restless, thinking about luke, and those strange plans going missing, robyn and julia, kept going off to the barn? and carlos was missing emily, but bex was "comforting" him.
"well" said joe one day, at dinner, "i think we should have ntl telephone and internet axcess, installed" "oh what a good idea"
said jeni, "oh not ntl" said becca, "i hate those ntl people" "well i know they are a bit anal, but i have looked into it and they are the cheapest by far" replied joe, "so its settled i'm afraid" "oh ok" agreed becca, not sounding very convinced,
"anyway i will ring them tonight, and order it, for as soon as possible" "more tea anyone?" asked jo, holding the teapot,
"well i wouldn't say no" replied rob, "tea, toast, fag" he added, "indeed" added joe, "wheres bex, by the way" said robyn,
"i think she is feeling unwell" said julia p, "well i better see how she is" said carlos hastely, "just in case"
"whats up with them" said tom, "i dunno, but i don't like it" replied sarah ingham, "somethings up" she added,
so the next day, while everyone was having breakfast, emily rang and said she was coming home that very day!!
"good news everyone" said joe smiling, "emily is coming home today" "cool" said sophie, i hope her mother is ok"
"i hope my horse is ok too" added viki, "i have been missing blossom, he's my best horse" "thats a very gay name for a male horse,
isn't it?" asked james, "well i liked it" replied viki, "on another matter" interupted joe, "i rang ntl last night, and they are coming this afternoon" "cool" said reena, "i can't wait to have free internet axcess, i can buy old hospital jurnals, on auction sites"
"yes we ae all looking farward to it, now, louise says today is the day to start the planting, and we all have to help"
"yes that right" interupted louise, rudely, pulling down a weather chart, "by my calculations, it is the perfect day to plant,
and as i was saying earlier, my hand was right up there!!! i mean right up there!!!!" "ok ok, i was talking" said joe,
"oh yeah sorry" said louise, a little embarresed, "anyway, the point is, we need someone to stay at the house, and let in the ntl blokes, and answer any questions they might ask" "oh i'll do that" volunteered becca, "right ok, good, come on then people eat up,
there is work to do!" said joe gulping down his waffles.
so after breakfast, everyone went outside to start work, except becca who put on jerry springer, to watch "quorn stunted my growth, and ruined my life" outside emily was galloping down the track towards the farm, "hey here comes emily" said ingham excitedly,
"oh good" said joe, looking up from his work, "i hope all is well at home" so while viki went off to the stable, to prepare for blossoms
return, everyone got back to work, inside becca was still watching jerry springer, when there was a knock at the back door,
"oh good, that'll be ntl" she said smirking, "hello" said a man of slight stature, when becca opened the door,
"why come in" said becca, "tea?" she asked, "oh yes please" answered the man, "right" said becca picking up a meat clever,
"are you ready" she asked, leaping at the man, and hacking him to the ground, and proceeding to chop him up, starting with his head! so when all was finshed, the floor was awash with blood, and there was becca, standing there, breathing hard and dripping with blood, "now for the others" she said heading for the ntl van, parked outside!
"emily, hows things" called bex, as emily came into the courtyard, "my mother is feeling much better thankyou" replied emily jumping down from blossom, "good good" said bex, "wheres carlos" asked emily looking excited, "hes not here at the mo" replied bex, "oh no" asked emily bemused, "yeah he said he had things to do" "but i told him i was coming back this morning, why didn't he make sure he was here" "oh well, i guess he isn't as bothered as you thought" replied bex casually,
"i'm worried now" said emily looking sad, "oh well, come see come sar, hey" said bex, smiling evily,
so while emily went to get rid of her horse, carlos came out of the toilet, "hey wheres emily" he asked, "just gone to put her horse away" replied bex, "oh right i will go se her" "oh i wouldn't do that, said she wanted to be alone or something" said bex,
"oh well fine" said carlos, going off in a huff,
so when it was time for lunch, everyone headed for the kitchen, joe opened the door casually, "my god!!! what have you done"
he said looking at becca, "i told you, i hate ntl men" she replied, wiping the blood of her face, "oh becca, sometimes you just have to be dificult, don't you!" said robyn, crossly,"sorry its just i'm in a bit of a mood" replied becca, shrugging,
just then emily and viki came in, "my goodness whats happened here?" asked emily, "becca got a bit angry" answered arthur,
"oh dear" said viki, dissaprovingly, "tut tut" "well look, lets not let this little problem spoil our plans, how about we fit the lines ourselves" suggested joe, "hey i thought you were out" said emily looking at carlos, "what are you talking about?" asked carlos,
"and anyway i'm not talking to you" he said, "well fine, i aint talking to you either" replied emily crossly,
so that night everyone went to the pub, and had lots to drink and played some fun darts games before the big final,
and for just one night, all thier problems were forgotten.
so the next day all was quite, joe had let everyone have a lie in, and the morning off from work,
"whats up joe, you look tired and aggrevated" said suz walking in at about 10am, "oh nothing, i'm just thinking about luke,
and where all this will end" replied joe, "i'm sure he'll turn up, and we will find out everything" replied suz, optimisticly,
"i hope so" said joe, supping on a cup of tea, just then carlos came in, "wheres emily i have to talk to her" he said looking serious,
"in her room i think" said emma g, "right" he said in a determined voice, running up the stairs 2 at a time,
"i wonder whats up with them" said suz pondering, "yes i wonder" replied emma g.
so when everyone had got up, and breakfast was being prepared, jo announced her new best seller,
"people i have released a book, oils and teas of the northan hemisphere" "cool" replied james, "can i have a free copy?"
"no you will pay the full price of £27.99, like everyone else" replied jo, "now who will help me to install a printing shop in the basement?" she asked, "i will" answered jeni, "i need a job" "good its settled then" said joe, looking very proud,
"just then emily came bounding down the stairs, "guess what everyone" she screamed, "what " replied everyone at once,
"i'm getting married!!!" she said laughing, "arr thats soo sweet" said debbie, "now now people" she said, "we need to organise this pretty quick" "yes may i be brides maid?" asked ingham, "of course" replied emily, "but calm down please"
"yes emily is right, we need to think about this" said joe sternly, "oh joe, you always have to ruin everything" said alion crossly.
just then bex came strutting in, "wuz up people" she said, "emilys getting married" blurted out robyn, "what" said bex,
"to who?" "who do you think" said jess, "but what about me" she asked, looking at carlos, "bex it was fun, but i was wrong,
and i have decided to forgive emily, dispite what she said" answered carlos, "what did i say" said emily, bemused,
"about not liking me as much as you thought, and all that" " i never said that" said emily astonished, "but bex said..." carlos stuttered, "hey hang on i never said anything" butted in bex, "bex you bitch" shouted emily, "you told me carlos went off when he knew i was coming home" "well... mm.. yes but that wa." "now now everyone calm down" interupted joe,
"outside" said emily, looking at bex bitterly, "you got it missy" said bex, opening the door,
"now stop this, right now" shouted joe, like he meant buisness, everyone shut up, even emily, "we will finish this later" he said,
"for now we have a wedding to organise!!!"
so for the next few days, there was much hustle and bustle, as everyone organised, and phoned friends and ordered dresses,
and all sorts. emilys brother, was coming to play in his band for the reception, with james joining in on lead guitar,
chief, joes sister, was coming down, and even alex (alias rat boy) was coming, much to louises joy.
so after many days of organising, the big day had nearly arrived, so one day, while joe was reading the morning paper,
emily asked him a question, "joe as you know, my dad went to the moon, to start a colony of talking ants,
so i would be very honoured if you were to give me away" "of course i will, i would like that very much" replied joe quite chuffed.
so the big day finally came, becca, ingham and jo, were brides maids, joe was giving emily away, carlos's best mate from portugal,
was best man, reena and alion were catering, sarah was singing, rob was conducting the service, the reception was going to be in the big barn, and the service was being held in the chapel, at the back of the farmhouse, while the night do, was in the pub,
so in the morning, everyone was rushing around, james was refusing to wear a suit, claiming it would look absurd,
the service was supposed to be at 11oclock, and it was already 9.30!! "oh do come on" said alion, "we will be late"
arthur was trying to eat something before he went. "well i don't wanna be hungry in the middle of the service do i" he said,
scoffing down a crumpet, "calm down people" said debbie, "we have plenty of time, if everyone cooperates"
so when all was ready and it was 10.55!! everyone rushed down the flagstone path to the chapel, outside there was rob, smoking a fag, and having a quick pint of tennents, while he still had the chance,
so the service got underway, all went smoothly, other than rob popping out for a kebab, halfway through the vows,
and chief turning up late, after the pub, and sending joe vile text messages during the service,
but it was soon all over, emily and carlos were soo happy, and even bex made up with them, before it was all over,
and debbie cought the bouquet, julia p fell down the steps outside and mingered her ankle, all was good,
and it was off to the barn for drinking, speaches and eating. bex even said a little something and apoligised for causing trouble,
then it was time for the best man speach, "now i have never met any of you before" he began. "so i can say whatever i like and i won't have to take the flack" he scoffed, "right, well where should i begin, first there was the taxi inccident"
so when all the vile and embarresing storys had been told, and carlos had knocked him out, it was time for the band.
emilys brother, (whos name i have forgotten, and whos band name i have forgotten too) took to the stage in style,
and james rocked on his new gibson, made entirely from nozzle plant wood,
so as everyone walked down towards the pub, their in the distance, debbie thought she saw smoke, "isn't that in the direction of the pub" she said, in a worried tone of voice, "oh shit your right" said rob, running off ahead, but coming to a halt after about 4 yards
"i really have to give up smoking, i could of played for Q.P.R" he said puffing, so as they got nearer to the tavern, they could see the whole thing was in flames!!! "my goodness" said jo c, "whats happened, how did it start?" said julia, wondering,
"right come on back home people to get the hoses" shouted joe, running back down the road, "my pub my beutifull pub,
there must be at least 4000 b&hs in there" sobbed rob, "and the beer as well" so joe and several other people,
turned up at the farmhouse, "right i'll open up the back door" said joe loudly over the din of flames licking wood,
"damn it, its locked" said joe, "you won't get in here" said a voice from inside, "everything is locked and bolted"
"luke you bastard" cried out tom, "how could you!" "and" continued luke, "i have a suprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................................
NEXT AND FINAL CHAPTER!!!!!!!! AR WELL YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, 27 January 2001
Friday, 26 January 2001
Fiels of Nozzles - Part 23
"arrr its so cute" said debbie smiling, "well i think we should burn it and burn its face first, i love being king" said james,
"now now, lets all calm down people" said joe, "first things first, i'm gonna call my lawyer" "yes good idea" said alion agreeably, "right back in a sec" said joe in an important voice, so while joe rang rob,(fatbob) everyone stared in disbelief,
"well lets kill louise,anyway" said james, "no, no killing" said jess disaprovingly, "well" said joe coming back in,
"rob is on his way" "oh good" said alion lighting up, "now for some lunch"
so when everyone had eaten, and arthur had thrown up some old boot polish, there was a knock at the door,
"ar that will be rob" said joe, striding to the door, "hey" said rob bowling in, with a b&h hanging from his mouth, and a can of tennants in his hand, "got any kebabs?" he asked, stroking his belly, "yes come this way" said alion leading the way,
"tea?"offered jo, "oh yes please" replied rob, "now" he said, opening his breifcase, "wheres this baataur?"
"hey easy tiger, thats my son" said wilko, "ar i see, how convenient" replied rob, opening another can,
"heres your kebab" said alion walking in, "and your tea sir" added jo, handing it over", "good good" said rob,
so after rob had eaten 3 kebabs and drunk 4 cans of tennants, it was time to see the "beast" upstairs everyone convened in louises master bedroom, "now what to do with this thing" said joe, looking worried, "well can it speak" asked rob,
"can i speak, can i f*#k" replied the baataur, "so you can" answered suz looking confused, "ar you've sussed me" replied the baataur,
"well for now, we will keep him in the attic" said joe wisely, so when things were discussed and baataur was banished to the attic, it was time to bury scott, susie and catherine, plus mark and ellie, in a mass grave, "now who will take the service?" asked joe, in all seriousness, "sod this for a laugh, lets just chuck them in" said julia p, kicking scott down the grave wall,
"ok" said joe, "shovels people" so when they had buried them, it was time to eat, and then continue the darts comp,
"so who owns the pub now?" asked anna looking quite worried, "ar well" said rob opening yet another breifcase, this one full of fiftys, "well thats that sorted" said joe satisfied, so when they had opened up, and had a few beers, it was time for quarter final no1, debbie and joe verses jess and tom, "now this time we will win, said tom determined, "yes" agreed jess, flexing,
meanwhile carlos was looking at his wounds in the corner, "ar that looks bad" said bex, "you are very kind" replied carlos,
just then emily came in, "i have to go away" she sobbed, "my mother is very unwell, and i have to see her"
"oh thats terrible" said julia, "yes, i will return tho, i hope very soon" so emily went home to pack and prepare a horse, with viki
meanwhile carlos was feeling bad, "maybe i should go with her" he said looking guilty, "no don't worry about it" said bex,
she said she wanted to have a break from you anyway, she said it was the voice, it grates, cuts like a knife"
"oh i see" said carlos angrily, "i'll stay and have some fun then" "yes you do that" answered bex sitting on his knee,
so while robert whacked up all the bar prices by 50%, debbie and joe, had began their match against jess and tom.
"right i'm up" said debs, striding over to the ocky, "oops" she exclaimed, as her dart flew through the window, and struck a man in the eye! "oh well" she said throwing manicly, "i'll have a pineapple, lime and lemonade please" said jess,
"ooh thats gonna cost ya" replied rob, "just serve me you nonce" replied jess, "right that'll be £6.85 please"
"bastard" jess whispered under her breath, "d&j 1set to 1" said reena loudly, as if anyone cared, "shouldn't someone clean up the basement" suggested jeni, swilling a vodka, "yes good idea" said rob, "rii, to the basement" he said smirking,
"go on have another" said bex, giving carlos another double jack daniels, "oh why not" replied carlos,"emily never let me drink"
"we win again, i think you'll find" said joe, arrogantly, "oh diddums" said jess, throwing her darts across the floor,
"now now" said joe in a cocky tone of voice, "we won fair and square" "oh get bent" replied tom, "at least i beat the rabbits"
so while bex and carlos, started arm wrestling, and rob began to put up the bar prices again,
and the next darts game got going, luke suddenly started beeping inside, "what the hell is that?" asked arthur,
"oh its just my mobile" replied luke looking shifty, "i'll just go answer it" so off went luke outside, never to return that night,
meanwhile jess was at the bar smoking a fag, "excuse me" said rob, looking very irate, "get the f#*k out of my pub"
"why what had she done?" asked joe strolling over to see the situation, "i just don't like her face, shes been pissing me off all night" replied rob, "and why are you here" he said looking at tom, "i'm drinking here" he replied looking bemused, "ok you two out now" rob shouted, so off went jess and tom, wondering what they had done, "whats up with you?" asked joe,
"they were pretending to flick ash on my bar"
so when it struck 1am, it was time to pack it in for the evening, and go home to play strip monopoly,
"right come on folks" said rii, "lets be off" back at the farmhouse, it was time for cups of tea, and a kebab or two,
"right off to bed guys" said joe sternly, "up early tomora to start the next harvest, and clean up all the wolf corpses"
so everyone went to bed, except rob, arthur and joe, whos turn it was to stayup and keep watch, just then emma came running in, "have you seen the office, its been totally ransacked!" "what" replied joe, "by who?" "i don't know" replied emma,
"but luke has disapeared again!!!!!...................
NEXT CHAPTER, EMILY RETURNS FOR A BIG SHOWDOWN!! AND DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?
PLUS JOE DISCOVERS SOME STRANGE THINGS ARE MISSING FROM HIS OFFICE, AND BAATAUR BREAKS LOOSE!!
"now now, lets all calm down people" said joe, "first things first, i'm gonna call my lawyer" "yes good idea" said alion agreeably, "right back in a sec" said joe in an important voice, so while joe rang rob,(fatbob) everyone stared in disbelief,
"well lets kill louise,anyway" said james, "no, no killing" said jess disaprovingly, "well" said joe coming back in,
"rob is on his way" "oh good" said alion lighting up, "now for some lunch"
so when everyone had eaten, and arthur had thrown up some old boot polish, there was a knock at the door,
"ar that will be rob" said joe, striding to the door, "hey" said rob bowling in, with a b&h hanging from his mouth, and a can of tennants in his hand, "got any kebabs?" he asked, stroking his belly, "yes come this way" said alion leading the way,
"tea?"offered jo, "oh yes please" replied rob, "now" he said, opening his breifcase, "wheres this baataur?"
"hey easy tiger, thats my son" said wilko, "ar i see, how convenient" replied rob, opening another can,
"heres your kebab" said alion walking in, "and your tea sir" added jo, handing it over", "good good" said rob,
so after rob had eaten 3 kebabs and drunk 4 cans of tennants, it was time to see the "beast" upstairs everyone convened in louises master bedroom, "now what to do with this thing" said joe, looking worried, "well can it speak" asked rob,
"can i speak, can i f*#k" replied the baataur, "so you can" answered suz looking confused, "ar you've sussed me" replied the baataur,
"well for now, we will keep him in the attic" said joe wisely, so when things were discussed and baataur was banished to the attic, it was time to bury scott, susie and catherine, plus mark and ellie, in a mass grave, "now who will take the service?" asked joe, in all seriousness, "sod this for a laugh, lets just chuck them in" said julia p, kicking scott down the grave wall,
"ok" said joe, "shovels people" so when they had buried them, it was time to eat, and then continue the darts comp,
"so who owns the pub now?" asked anna looking quite worried, "ar well" said rob opening yet another breifcase, this one full of fiftys, "well thats that sorted" said joe satisfied, so when they had opened up, and had a few beers, it was time for quarter final no1, debbie and joe verses jess and tom, "now this time we will win, said tom determined, "yes" agreed jess, flexing,
meanwhile carlos was looking at his wounds in the corner, "ar that looks bad" said bex, "you are very kind" replied carlos,
just then emily came in, "i have to go away" she sobbed, "my mother is very unwell, and i have to see her"
"oh thats terrible" said julia, "yes, i will return tho, i hope very soon" so emily went home to pack and prepare a horse, with viki
meanwhile carlos was feeling bad, "maybe i should go with her" he said looking guilty, "no don't worry about it" said bex,
she said she wanted to have a break from you anyway, she said it was the voice, it grates, cuts like a knife"
"oh i see" said carlos angrily, "i'll stay and have some fun then" "yes you do that" answered bex sitting on his knee,
so while robert whacked up all the bar prices by 50%, debbie and joe, had began their match against jess and tom.
"right i'm up" said debs, striding over to the ocky, "oops" she exclaimed, as her dart flew through the window, and struck a man in the eye! "oh well" she said throwing manicly, "i'll have a pineapple, lime and lemonade please" said jess,
"ooh thats gonna cost ya" replied rob, "just serve me you nonce" replied jess, "right that'll be £6.85 please"
"bastard" jess whispered under her breath, "d&j 1set to 1" said reena loudly, as if anyone cared, "shouldn't someone clean up the basement" suggested jeni, swilling a vodka, "yes good idea" said rob, "rii, to the basement" he said smirking,
"go on have another" said bex, giving carlos another double jack daniels, "oh why not" replied carlos,"emily never let me drink"
"we win again, i think you'll find" said joe, arrogantly, "oh diddums" said jess, throwing her darts across the floor,
"now now" said joe in a cocky tone of voice, "we won fair and square" "oh get bent" replied tom, "at least i beat the rabbits"
so while bex and carlos, started arm wrestling, and rob began to put up the bar prices again,
and the next darts game got going, luke suddenly started beeping inside, "what the hell is that?" asked arthur,
"oh its just my mobile" replied luke looking shifty, "i'll just go answer it" so off went luke outside, never to return that night,
meanwhile jess was at the bar smoking a fag, "excuse me" said rob, looking very irate, "get the f#*k out of my pub"
"why what had she done?" asked joe strolling over to see the situation, "i just don't like her face, shes been pissing me off all night" replied rob, "and why are you here" he said looking at tom, "i'm drinking here" he replied looking bemused, "ok you two out now" rob shouted, so off went jess and tom, wondering what they had done, "whats up with you?" asked joe,
"they were pretending to flick ash on my bar"
so when it struck 1am, it was time to pack it in for the evening, and go home to play strip monopoly,
"right come on folks" said rii, "lets be off" back at the farmhouse, it was time for cups of tea, and a kebab or two,
"right off to bed guys" said joe sternly, "up early tomora to start the next harvest, and clean up all the wolf corpses"
so everyone went to bed, except rob, arthur and joe, whos turn it was to stayup and keep watch, just then emma came running in, "have you seen the office, its been totally ransacked!" "what" replied joe, "by who?" "i don't know" replied emma,
"but luke has disapeared again!!!!!...................
NEXT CHAPTER, EMILY RETURNS FOR A BIG SHOWDOWN!! AND DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?
PLUS JOE DISCOVERS SOME STRANGE THINGS ARE MISSING FROM HIS OFFICE, AND BAATAUR BREAKS LOOSE!!
Thursday, 25 January 2001
Fields of Nozzles - Part 22
outside it was pitch black and very cold, the wind was howling, and apart from that all quiet, everyone took their positions,
on the east and north walls, and waited weapons poised eyes wide, hearts pounding, "there" shouted james, emptying a few rounds into the darkness, "right people, i want to see ammo conservation, bullets don't grow on trees you know" said joe,
in an important voice, "i want snipers on the roof of the barn, and the farmhouse" "yes good idea" said viki, "i will get a squad together" "i will come with you" said matt running after her, "right lets give them whats coming to them" said tom, cocking his rifle,
so in the darkness of night, through the screams of the villagers being torn apart, the young heros fought for all they were worth,
"we need more firepower on the north wall" shouted julia, "right one section in every three, onto the north wall" shouted joe,
over the din of guns and wizzing bullets, "their retreating" called jess, from the east wall, so for a short while, all was quiet,
and everyone reloaded, had somthing to eat and made sure of casualties, "no-one injured as yet" said robyn.
"here they come again" said rii, cracking off into the night, the fighting continued for many hours, and joe began to get worried about ammonitions, "these rounds won't last forever" he said sounding somber, "right i'm off" said scott(the rock)cooper,
as he bounded over the wall, and started beating the wolves with the butt of his gun, but eventually he was overrun, and torn apart,
"he died a heros death, the one he deserved" said joe sadly, "they will finish feeding on the villagers soon, then were really screwed" pointed out alion, pulling hard on her pipe, "yes alion is right, what do we do" added debbie, "ok ok, i don't know"
replied joe, as day dawned, and the wolves retired once again for a while, "thats 5 times they've come now" said luke breathing hard, "yes what do we do now?" asked emma, "yes and where have i been for the last 10 odd chapters" added suz,
"look sorry guys, lets just concentrate on the wolves"
so when the wolves had finished on the village, they turned their full attention to the farmhouse, "right this is it people"
said joe firmly, "do or die!!" so as the wolves pushed on for victory, bent on destruction, everyone put everything ythey had into,
the defense of their farm. "this is for all our friends in hopmoe" shouted jeni, as she loaded up terrence, and he hurled the rocks over the parrapet. just then carlos slipped off the barn roof, and fell over the wall!! "quickly open up the gate and get him inside" called joe while thrashing this way and that with his minigun, so tom, rii and luke, ran over to the gates and pulled back the locking bars, and dragged carlos inside, "oh are you ok" said bex, stroking his head, "yes thankyou, your very kind"
said carlos smiling, "huh" said emily in disgust, "get back over here" shouted joe, to the others, "right come on" said tom,
"luke close the gates will you" "ok" replied luke with a strange look on his face!,
as the fighting continued into midmorning, however hard the wolves tried, they just couldn't get over the walls,
if we can keep this up for just a few hours longer, we should be able to fight them off" said joe looking more hopefull,
"how is louise" he asked, "shes doing well, but its a very long labour" replied julia p, who had just come out,
"yes well we could do with reena and becca, so i hope it isn't too much longer" replied joe, looking out over the walls,
just then tim shouted from the east wall, "their coming through the gates" "quick to the gates" shouted susie,
when they arrived, the wolves were already inside, and causing havoc!! "quickly help me help me" screamed catherine.
as the wolves dragged her across the ground, so everyone helped to ram the doors closed, and then to kill the wolves that were left inside, but not before they got catherine and susie!, "how did they get inside?" wondered emma l, "luke was supposed to lock the gates" said tom accusingly, "yes what do you have to say for yourself?" asked joe, looking at luke, "i thought i had locked them, i swear" he answered, "look" shouted suz from the watch tower, "the wolves have retreated!!" "yay we did it" said james leaping into the air.
so everyone helped to carry susie, catherine and scott, to the field behind the farmhouse, "we will bury them later" said joe sadly,
just then reena came running round the corner, "quick come upstairs everyone, louise has given birth!!"
so everyone followed reena upstairs to the master bedroom, there on the bed was louise sleeping soundly, "poor girl" said joe,
"so where is the baby?" asked rii, "well" began reena, "it was one hell of a baby, 5stone 4pounds!, and well it has hoofs"
"what" exclaimed viki, "well take a look yourselves" she said ushering them into another room, "my god" said jess, "its a baataur!!!!...............
NEXT CHAPTER, BEX IS A REAL BITCH!! LOUISE RECOVERS FROM THE TRAUMA OF CHILD BIRTH, AND LUKE IS QUESTIONED!!!? PLUS THE FUNERAL OF SUSIE, CATHERINE AND SCOTT, AND THEY INVESTIGATE THE STRANGE DEATH OF ELLIE AND MARK????
on the east and north walls, and waited weapons poised eyes wide, hearts pounding, "there" shouted james, emptying a few rounds into the darkness, "right people, i want to see ammo conservation, bullets don't grow on trees you know" said joe,
in an important voice, "i want snipers on the roof of the barn, and the farmhouse" "yes good idea" said viki, "i will get a squad together" "i will come with you" said matt running after her, "right lets give them whats coming to them" said tom, cocking his rifle,
so in the darkness of night, through the screams of the villagers being torn apart, the young heros fought for all they were worth,
"we need more firepower on the north wall" shouted julia, "right one section in every three, onto the north wall" shouted joe,
over the din of guns and wizzing bullets, "their retreating" called jess, from the east wall, so for a short while, all was quiet,
and everyone reloaded, had somthing to eat and made sure of casualties, "no-one injured as yet" said robyn.
"here they come again" said rii, cracking off into the night, the fighting continued for many hours, and joe began to get worried about ammonitions, "these rounds won't last forever" he said sounding somber, "right i'm off" said scott(the rock)cooper,
as he bounded over the wall, and started beating the wolves with the butt of his gun, but eventually he was overrun, and torn apart,
"he died a heros death, the one he deserved" said joe sadly, "they will finish feeding on the villagers soon, then were really screwed" pointed out alion, pulling hard on her pipe, "yes alion is right, what do we do" added debbie, "ok ok, i don't know"
replied joe, as day dawned, and the wolves retired once again for a while, "thats 5 times they've come now" said luke breathing hard, "yes what do we do now?" asked emma, "yes and where have i been for the last 10 odd chapters" added suz,
"look sorry guys, lets just concentrate on the wolves"
so when the wolves had finished on the village, they turned their full attention to the farmhouse, "right this is it people"
said joe firmly, "do or die!!" so as the wolves pushed on for victory, bent on destruction, everyone put everything ythey had into,
the defense of their farm. "this is for all our friends in hopmoe" shouted jeni, as she loaded up terrence, and he hurled the rocks over the parrapet. just then carlos slipped off the barn roof, and fell over the wall!! "quickly open up the gate and get him inside" called joe while thrashing this way and that with his minigun, so tom, rii and luke, ran over to the gates and pulled back the locking bars, and dragged carlos inside, "oh are you ok" said bex, stroking his head, "yes thankyou, your very kind"
said carlos smiling, "huh" said emily in disgust, "get back over here" shouted joe, to the others, "right come on" said tom,
"luke close the gates will you" "ok" replied luke with a strange look on his face!,
as the fighting continued into midmorning, however hard the wolves tried, they just couldn't get over the walls,
if we can keep this up for just a few hours longer, we should be able to fight them off" said joe looking more hopefull,
"how is louise" he asked, "shes doing well, but its a very long labour" replied julia p, who had just come out,
"yes well we could do with reena and becca, so i hope it isn't too much longer" replied joe, looking out over the walls,
just then tim shouted from the east wall, "their coming through the gates" "quick to the gates" shouted susie,
when they arrived, the wolves were already inside, and causing havoc!! "quickly help me help me" screamed catherine.
as the wolves dragged her across the ground, so everyone helped to ram the doors closed, and then to kill the wolves that were left inside, but not before they got catherine and susie!, "how did they get inside?" wondered emma l, "luke was supposed to lock the gates" said tom accusingly, "yes what do you have to say for yourself?" asked joe, looking at luke, "i thought i had locked them, i swear" he answered, "look" shouted suz from the watch tower, "the wolves have retreated!!" "yay we did it" said james leaping into the air.
so everyone helped to carry susie, catherine and scott, to the field behind the farmhouse, "we will bury them later" said joe sadly,
just then reena came running round the corner, "quick come upstairs everyone, louise has given birth!!"
so everyone followed reena upstairs to the master bedroom, there on the bed was louise sleeping soundly, "poor girl" said joe,
"so where is the baby?" asked rii, "well" began reena, "it was one hell of a baby, 5stone 4pounds!, and well it has hoofs"
"what" exclaimed viki, "well take a look yourselves" she said ushering them into another room, "my god" said jess, "its a baataur!!!!...............
NEXT CHAPTER, BEX IS A REAL BITCH!! LOUISE RECOVERS FROM THE TRAUMA OF CHILD BIRTH, AND LUKE IS QUESTIONED!!!? PLUS THE FUNERAL OF SUSIE, CATHERINE AND SCOTT, AND THEY INVESTIGATE THE STRANGE DEATH OF ELLIE AND MARK????
Wednesday, 24 January 2001
Fields of Nozzles - Part 21
"right everyone inside quick" said joe, trying to stay calm, so everyone ran inside, including debs, leaving her horse to stomp around outside, "now where did you see them?" asked joe, "well" began debbie sweating prefusively, "its funny really, it all began back in the summer of 63, i was only small, and it was a bright day, my father sat me on his knee, and he said, debs you are nearly 4, i think it times you got a job" "oh get to the point you freak!!" screamed james, becoming quite irate,
"yes please back to the wolves" said joe, trying not to flip, "oh yes the wolves" said debbie, "right well there about 3 miles away,
and heading in this direction" "right everyone, outside, lets get these walls finished, even if it kills us!" said joe in an important voice,
so outside everyone got stuck in, even louise, in her far from fit state, "what about ellie and mark" asked jeni,
"we will have to get back to that later" replied joe, strugling with a small rock, "yes we all have to help" added tom,
"ok tom, your not kubler khan" said jess, exasperated, "anyway come along everyone, work ethic remember" said joe,
so by lunch time they had finished 3 walls and had started on number 4, "right a quick bite i think" said alion, wisely,
"yes on the hoof so to speak" added james, trying to be clever, so everyone helped to make sandwiches, and eat them.
and then continued to work away, except louise who had gone to lie down, now weighing about 15 stone!!.
so finally all the walls were finished, and it was time to make plans, for the impending attack, " i think we should use terrence"
said jeni, "for hurling bolders maybe" "yes good idea" said robyn, "what about a huge plastic moose, with like plimsoles in it and..."
"oh shut up robyn, you and your giant animals" said julia p, "your just in a mood, coz your best mate is dead" replied robyn,
"now now children" said alion keeping order, in her normal sarcastic way, "enough is enough" "right lets get hese bastards"
said debbie firmly, holding a m16 semi automatic, "yes good idea debs, weapons" said joe thinking hard,
"right to the local clothes shop" he said grabbing his coat, so off went james, luke, tom and joe,
"hello mr shopkeeper" said tom cheerfully, "good afternoon, what can i do for you?" the shopkeeper asked,
"we want some clothes" said joe winking hard, "oh right, yeah "clothes" he answered, "follow me" he said motioning to a back door, inside was a vast room, entirely lined with guns of all sorts, "right we'll have one of each" said james, licking his lips.
so back at the farmhouse, when the guys had returned, it was time for tea, and the plans to be drawn up properly,
"now" said joe, rolling down a reeled up map on the wall, and poking it with a long stick, "here are the enemy, and here is us"
"excuse me for asking" said rii, "what about the villagers" "what about them" asked joe bemused, "well are we going to let them all inside our defences or what?" ""well we could do that, but it would mean loosing our main defence" "and whats thats" asked
emily, "the stalling motion, while the wolves tear our fellow villagers to peices, we can kill as many as poss from the safety of our fort" "what a good idea" said jo c, "yes i like it" added james, "sounds like a plan to me" said anna.
so when all the plans had been set, and the weapons distributed, it was time to set watchmen and guards,
"now, it is likely that the wolves will atack by cover of darkness, and probably from the east" said joe trying to sound proffesional.
so off went tom, james, scott"the rock"cooper, arthur and robyn, (just to prove a point) to their posts, while everyone else prepared for war!!,
the clock struck midnight, all was deadly silent, no-one dared to breathe, everyone was waiting in the living room, weapons poised,
and ammo at the ready, "i wonder when they will come" said susie suddenly, "anytime now i expect" said luke,
just then reena came running in, "louise is really not well, she is having contractions, and needs help bad" "right julia p,
go help reena" said joe, firmly and harshly, "and becca, go get the first aid box" "rightoh" replied becca running for the cupboard,
so while louises screams of pain were heard throughout the house, and the sweat began to run down the thirty odd bunch of frightened youngsters, their was a shout!!, "HERE THEY COME!!" bellowed james from the forth tower,
"right people" said debs, "lets kick some ass!!!...........................
NEXT CHAPTER, LOUISE GIVES BIRTH, BUT TO WHAT??!!! THE WOLVES GIVE IT SOME GRIEF!!!!!
AND LUKE DOES THE DIRTY ON EM!!!!!!
"yes please back to the wolves" said joe, trying not to flip, "oh yes the wolves" said debbie, "right well there about 3 miles away,
and heading in this direction" "right everyone, outside, lets get these walls finished, even if it kills us!" said joe in an important voice,
so outside everyone got stuck in, even louise, in her far from fit state, "what about ellie and mark" asked jeni,
"we will have to get back to that later" replied joe, strugling with a small rock, "yes we all have to help" added tom,
"ok tom, your not kubler khan" said jess, exasperated, "anyway come along everyone, work ethic remember" said joe,
so by lunch time they had finished 3 walls and had started on number 4, "right a quick bite i think" said alion, wisely,
"yes on the hoof so to speak" added james, trying to be clever, so everyone helped to make sandwiches, and eat them.
and then continued to work away, except louise who had gone to lie down, now weighing about 15 stone!!.
so finally all the walls were finished, and it was time to make plans, for the impending attack, " i think we should use terrence"
said jeni, "for hurling bolders maybe" "yes good idea" said robyn, "what about a huge plastic moose, with like plimsoles in it and..."
"oh shut up robyn, you and your giant animals" said julia p, "your just in a mood, coz your best mate is dead" replied robyn,
"now now children" said alion keeping order, in her normal sarcastic way, "enough is enough" "right lets get hese bastards"
said debbie firmly, holding a m16 semi automatic, "yes good idea debs, weapons" said joe thinking hard,
"right to the local clothes shop" he said grabbing his coat, so off went james, luke, tom and joe,
"hello mr shopkeeper" said tom cheerfully, "good afternoon, what can i do for you?" the shopkeeper asked,
"we want some clothes" said joe winking hard, "oh right, yeah "clothes" he answered, "follow me" he said motioning to a back door, inside was a vast room, entirely lined with guns of all sorts, "right we'll have one of each" said james, licking his lips.
so back at the farmhouse, when the guys had returned, it was time for tea, and the plans to be drawn up properly,
"now" said joe, rolling down a reeled up map on the wall, and poking it with a long stick, "here are the enemy, and here is us"
"excuse me for asking" said rii, "what about the villagers" "what about them" asked joe bemused, "well are we going to let them all inside our defences or what?" ""well we could do that, but it would mean loosing our main defence" "and whats thats" asked
emily, "the stalling motion, while the wolves tear our fellow villagers to peices, we can kill as many as poss from the safety of our fort" "what a good idea" said jo c, "yes i like it" added james, "sounds like a plan to me" said anna.
so when all the plans had been set, and the weapons distributed, it was time to set watchmen and guards,
"now, it is likely that the wolves will atack by cover of darkness, and probably from the east" said joe trying to sound proffesional.
so off went tom, james, scott"the rock"cooper, arthur and robyn, (just to prove a point) to their posts, while everyone else prepared for war!!,
the clock struck midnight, all was deadly silent, no-one dared to breathe, everyone was waiting in the living room, weapons poised,
and ammo at the ready, "i wonder when they will come" said susie suddenly, "anytime now i expect" said luke,
just then reena came running in, "louise is really not well, she is having contractions, and needs help bad" "right julia p,
go help reena" said joe, firmly and harshly, "and becca, go get the first aid box" "rightoh" replied becca running for the cupboard,
so while louises screams of pain were heard throughout the house, and the sweat began to run down the thirty odd bunch of frightened youngsters, their was a shout!!, "HERE THEY COME!!" bellowed james from the forth tower,
"right people" said debs, "lets kick some ass!!!...........................
NEXT CHAPTER, LOUISE GIVES BIRTH, BUT TO WHAT??!!! THE WOLVES GIVE IT SOME GRIEF!!!!!
AND LUKE DOES THE DIRTY ON EM!!!!!!
Tuesday, 23 January 2001
Fields of Nozzles - Part 20
"i wonder why ellie has been so long" said jess, looking worried, "i wouldn't worry, shes probably found a nice bottle of whisky" said tom quite casually, so after many hours, when all the darts had been played, and the quarter finals were thus,
debbie&joe, and jess&tom, jo&rii, and julia&arthur, louise&viki, and james&robyn, and finally, emily&carlos, and sarah&anna. joe was beginning to get worried about ellie, "mark go have a look, and see where shes got to will you"
"ok doc" replied mark heading for the stairs, "i beta start clearing up i guess" said rii, "yes i will help you" added sarah,
"well i'm going off to live with the fish people" said jeni, walking off, "ok be back for dinner" replied wilko, sucking hard on a fag, "well where the hell has mark gone now" said arthur quite annoyed by all the waiting, "i'm not made of splifs you know"
"look, we will have a look for them, after we have finished cleaning up" sarah said wisely, "ok see you back at base" said joe in an important voice,
so back at the farmhouse, "right its time to send out a rider" said joe, "under the cover of darkness, who will go?"
"i will" piped up debbie, "good its settled then, viki, louise, go help her prepare a horse" said joe proudly,
"right now for a lookout" joe continued, "its my turn i think you'll find" said matt standing proudly, "ok heres the shotgun"
so when matt had gone off to his post, and viki and louise had packed the horse, it was time for debs to be off,
"right now debs, take care wont you those wolves are vicious bastards" said james, "oh i'll be fine" said debbie casually,
"their only cute little dogs after all" "yes quite" said wilko smirking as usuall,
meanwhile back at the pub, it was time for rii and sarah to leave, "i'll just go look" said rii, "ok" said sarah, "i'll lock up"
so rii cautiously walked down the stairs, "i do hope they are ok" she said to herself, she opened the door slowly,
and in the dim light, created by the light streaming through the doorway........ there hanging form the ceiling, was ellies cold and battered body!!, with mug written on her forehead in a blue marker pen!! "aaaaarrhhh" screamed rii,
half scared and half horrified, rii quickly looked round the basement floor, hoping to see mark somewhere,
and sure enough there he too lay, strangled by his own base guitar strings, and his face covered by the remains of his guitar, "oh no not mark too" said rii almost reduced to tears, "he rocked"
"right bed time people" said jo, always amazed at how long they all stayed up, "right i'm off" said julia p, "yeah me too" said sophie, so when everyone had gone to bed, except louise, luke and joe, "you alright louise" asked joe, "you've put on three stone in 2 days" "yeah i'll be ok" said louise munching away on a cucumber and orange cheese baguette,
just then sarah and rii, came bounding in, "their dead, their dead" shouted sarah, hystericaly, while rii just stood there as if in a daze, "just a minute calm down" said joe, slapping sarah about the face, "whos dead? what happened?"
"i don't know, but their both dead" shouted sarah again, "who saw this" asked louise, "rii did" answered sarah,
collapsing on a sofa, "right we need to find out who did this" said joe, trying to control his anger,
"we have to to go back tomorrow, and see the situation" "yes agreed luke, and play with our "souls" "mm" said louise,
so in the morning everyone was up a little late, due to having a late night darting, "now we have to wait for debs, before we do anything else" said joe, "she should be back by about 11 i hope, unless anything terrible has happened"
"wheres jeni" asked catherine, "she went to live with the fish people, dummy" replied sophie, "oh yeah" said catherine,
"i forgot about that" "now for some breakfast" said alion, getting out the dips and cheese, "can we have some tea jo"
called tom from the living room, "ay" murmured jo, looking up from her book on world oils and aromas,
"tea woman, and make it quick" repeated tom, "two sugers" "oh get your own, you sexist nonce" she replied, returning to her book,
so after breakfast, everyone waited tensely for debbies return, except for wilko, who was sprawled out on the sofa, watching, american hyper racing, on channel sporto! "oh where is she" said emily biting her nails,
"its only 11.20, she'll be back soon" said alion, trying to sound confident, "i hope so" said luke, "we need her blood"
"what did you just say?" asked james swinging round in his chair, "oh..mm.. i said we need her company"
"mmm" pondered tom stroking his chin, "just then, sarah ingham called from outside, "here she comes"
everyone stormed outside, to see her approach, debs came galloping into the compound, "hurry hurry" she hollered,
"their on their way!!!!!!!!!!!!......
NEXT CHAPTER, THE WOLVES GET VERY CLOSE!! LUKE BECOMES A NIMF GENERALLY, AND WILL JENI EVER RETURN FROM THE FISH PEOPLE??? PLUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING???????
debbie&joe, and jess&tom, jo&rii, and julia&arthur, louise&viki, and james&robyn, and finally, emily&carlos, and sarah&anna. joe was beginning to get worried about ellie, "mark go have a look, and see where shes got to will you"
"ok doc" replied mark heading for the stairs, "i beta start clearing up i guess" said rii, "yes i will help you" added sarah,
"well i'm going off to live with the fish people" said jeni, walking off, "ok be back for dinner" replied wilko, sucking hard on a fag, "well where the hell has mark gone now" said arthur quite annoyed by all the waiting, "i'm not made of splifs you know"
"look, we will have a look for them, after we have finished cleaning up" sarah said wisely, "ok see you back at base" said joe in an important voice,
so back at the farmhouse, "right its time to send out a rider" said joe, "under the cover of darkness, who will go?"
"i will" piped up debbie, "good its settled then, viki, louise, go help her prepare a horse" said joe proudly,
"right now for a lookout" joe continued, "its my turn i think you'll find" said matt standing proudly, "ok heres the shotgun"
so when matt had gone off to his post, and viki and louise had packed the horse, it was time for debs to be off,
"right now debs, take care wont you those wolves are vicious bastards" said james, "oh i'll be fine" said debbie casually,
"their only cute little dogs after all" "yes quite" said wilko smirking as usuall,
meanwhile back at the pub, it was time for rii and sarah to leave, "i'll just go look" said rii, "ok" said sarah, "i'll lock up"
so rii cautiously walked down the stairs, "i do hope they are ok" she said to herself, she opened the door slowly,
and in the dim light, created by the light streaming through the doorway........ there hanging form the ceiling, was ellies cold and battered body!!, with mug written on her forehead in a blue marker pen!! "aaaaarrhhh" screamed rii,
half scared and half horrified, rii quickly looked round the basement floor, hoping to see mark somewhere,
and sure enough there he too lay, strangled by his own base guitar strings, and his face covered by the remains of his guitar, "oh no not mark too" said rii almost reduced to tears, "he rocked"
"right bed time people" said jo, always amazed at how long they all stayed up, "right i'm off" said julia p, "yeah me too" said sophie, so when everyone had gone to bed, except louise, luke and joe, "you alright louise" asked joe, "you've put on three stone in 2 days" "yeah i'll be ok" said louise munching away on a cucumber and orange cheese baguette,
just then sarah and rii, came bounding in, "their dead, their dead" shouted sarah, hystericaly, while rii just stood there as if in a daze, "just a minute calm down" said joe, slapping sarah about the face, "whos dead? what happened?"
"i don't know, but their both dead" shouted sarah again, "who saw this" asked louise, "rii did" answered sarah,
collapsing on a sofa, "right we need to find out who did this" said joe, trying to control his anger,
"we have to to go back tomorrow, and see the situation" "yes agreed luke, and play with our "souls" "mm" said louise,
so in the morning everyone was up a little late, due to having a late night darting, "now we have to wait for debs, before we do anything else" said joe, "she should be back by about 11 i hope, unless anything terrible has happened"
"wheres jeni" asked catherine, "she went to live with the fish people, dummy" replied sophie, "oh yeah" said catherine,
"i forgot about that" "now for some breakfast" said alion, getting out the dips and cheese, "can we have some tea jo"
called tom from the living room, "ay" murmured jo, looking up from her book on world oils and aromas,
"tea woman, and make it quick" repeated tom, "two sugers" "oh get your own, you sexist nonce" she replied, returning to her book,
so after breakfast, everyone waited tensely for debbies return, except for wilko, who was sprawled out on the sofa, watching, american hyper racing, on channel sporto! "oh where is she" said emily biting her nails,
"its only 11.20, she'll be back soon" said alion, trying to sound confident, "i hope so" said luke, "we need her blood"
"what did you just say?" asked james swinging round in his chair, "oh..mm.. i said we need her company"
"mmm" pondered tom stroking his chin, "just then, sarah ingham called from outside, "here she comes"
everyone stormed outside, to see her approach, debs came galloping into the compound, "hurry hurry" she hollered,
"their on their way!!!!!!!!!!!!......
NEXT CHAPTER, THE WOLVES GET VERY CLOSE!! LUKE BECOMES A NIMF GENERALLY, AND WILL JENI EVER RETURN FROM THE FISH PEOPLE??? PLUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING???????
Monday, 22 January 2001
Fields of Nozzles - Part 19
so in the pub the action started, sarah was singing away, and ellie was knocking them back,
in the beer garden, rii was cleaning the tables, "thats strange" she thought, "theres a hole where that dead grass was"
back inside the darts was kicking off, one of many games was debbie and joes second round match, against alion and wilko, "look at them, those vile cretins" said wilko smirking, "we're soo going to kick their ass's" "i don't know"
replied alion, "their pretty sharp, you should of seen them up against jess and tom" "don't worry ali, i have sorted everything" wilko replied confidently.
just then louise turned up, looking very upset, "whats the matter lou?" asked susie, louise strutted up to wilko, and smacked him round the head!, "what the hell was that for?" asked wilko, "you bastard" she said inraged with anger, "how could you do this to me?"
"ar touche" replied wilko smugly, "nevermind ey, worse things happen at sea" "louise, whats up" called catherine,
as louise went storming out of the pub, "oh well" said ellie stumbling around, "lets play some darts"
so after many hours of darts, and a lot of laughs, plus concerns for louise, and ellies health, joe and debbie, had continued their unbeaten record, with another thrashing, "what did i tell you" said alion crossly, "oh get a life" said wilko casually,
"well fine" replied alion, puffing hard on her pipe, "right come on people, time for bed" said joe, tapping his watch,
like some anal aristocrat, "oh joe" said sophie dispairingly, "your soo anal"
back at home, most people went off to bed, but arthur got out his rizlers and and nozzle fibres, while julia, began constructing a morris minor 200, with a pipe cleaner and a box of pretzels, "where is louise?" asked joe looking worried,
"i think she went to bed" replied jo, "oh well, i hope she is ok" said jess, "right, james, tom, your up tonight" said joe in an important voice, so when all had gone to bed, and all was quiet, tom expressed his concern for luke,
"i don't like it atall" said tom, "he's changed, and it aint for the good" "no i know what you mean" added james, picking off his scab,
to see his arm was completely better, "wow that nozzle leaf oil, really worked" he said very pleased to finally be better,
"anyway" said joe disregardingly, "what do we do about luke, i think we should keep an eye on him" "yes good idea" replied tom,
so the next morning everyone started working on the walls. except louise who said she felt ill, and was eating gravy and sugered almond sandwiches, even emily was feeling better, and helping out best she could, "carlos really seems to like her" said becca,
while stacking rocks, and occasionly leaning into a icecream tub, to throw up for a minute or so,
"yes i think he does" replied robyn. just then there was a knock on the now vast gates, "i'll go see who it is" said jo c,
"hello" she said, as she opened the gates, to see a girl standing there chewing gum, "hi i'm sexy bexy" said bex,
"oh right come in then" said jo c, "what are you doing here?" asked emily, not looking happy atall,
"can't your best mate come and visit" replied bex sarcastically, "anyway you owe me a favour" she added,
"and whats that" inquired becca, "none of your buisness" snapped bex, "now now" butted in joe, "we won't have any upset on my farm, what is the problem emily? and why are you here?" he asked bex, "i just wanted to get away from the city" she said quite innocently.
so by the end of the day, they had 3 walls up!!! "i must say, i am very gratefull for your help" said joe, looking at matt and terrence,
"yes i have quite enjoyed it" replied matt smiling, and looking in vikis direction, "yes it has been fun" added terrence,
"right, now the wolves must be getting close by now" said joe thinking hard, "i think we should send out a rider, to scout out their location" "yes good idea" said robyn, back indoors dinner was on the go, and louise was feeling rather sick again,
"i'm not right atall" she said quivering and shaking, on a sofa, "i think we should take your temperature" said reena wisely,
"well i aint doing it" said wilko lounging on the settee, legs spread drinking a cupa, "your such a lazy bastard" shouted louise,
"yeah well, i'm just geting in role" replied wilko smartly,
"right, come on then people, to the pub and beyond" said joe looking very excited, "yes and may a good time be had by all" added jess, "just one thing before we go" asked tim, "who they hell are you?" he said looking at joe, "look mate" said joe now quite irate,
i am joe, the owner and dictater of this farm, now never ask who i am again,OK?" "well i don't remember you but ok" replied tim bemused again, so off to the pub they went, even luke went along, "right lets get started" said reena, organising the darts again,
so as the evening wore on, and the pumps and fridges began to empty, and people began to throw things at sarah, due to her apalling singing, "i think i will go get some more beers" said ellie heading for the basement stairs,
down in the basement all was dark ans quiet. "eeellllllie" came an eerie voice, from the darkness of barrels, "whos their?" called ellie, "wh ydid you kill me ellie, i had done nothing wrong" "oh shit" screamed ellie heading for the door,
"oh no you don't" whispered the voice, "fair is fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..................................................
NEXT CHAPTER, WHO GIVES A F*#*K
in the beer garden, rii was cleaning the tables, "thats strange" she thought, "theres a hole where that dead grass was"
back inside the darts was kicking off, one of many games was debbie and joes second round match, against alion and wilko, "look at them, those vile cretins" said wilko smirking, "we're soo going to kick their ass's" "i don't know"
replied alion, "their pretty sharp, you should of seen them up against jess and tom" "don't worry ali, i have sorted everything" wilko replied confidently.
just then louise turned up, looking very upset, "whats the matter lou?" asked susie, louise strutted up to wilko, and smacked him round the head!, "what the hell was that for?" asked wilko, "you bastard" she said inraged with anger, "how could you do this to me?"
"ar touche" replied wilko smugly, "nevermind ey, worse things happen at sea" "louise, whats up" called catherine,
as louise went storming out of the pub, "oh well" said ellie stumbling around, "lets play some darts"
so after many hours of darts, and a lot of laughs, plus concerns for louise, and ellies health, joe and debbie, had continued their unbeaten record, with another thrashing, "what did i tell you" said alion crossly, "oh get a life" said wilko casually,
"well fine" replied alion, puffing hard on her pipe, "right come on people, time for bed" said joe, tapping his watch,
like some anal aristocrat, "oh joe" said sophie dispairingly, "your soo anal"
back at home, most people went off to bed, but arthur got out his rizlers and and nozzle fibres, while julia, began constructing a morris minor 200, with a pipe cleaner and a box of pretzels, "where is louise?" asked joe looking worried,
"i think she went to bed" replied jo, "oh well, i hope she is ok" said jess, "right, james, tom, your up tonight" said joe in an important voice, so when all had gone to bed, and all was quiet, tom expressed his concern for luke,
"i don't like it atall" said tom, "he's changed, and it aint for the good" "no i know what you mean" added james, picking off his scab,
to see his arm was completely better, "wow that nozzle leaf oil, really worked" he said very pleased to finally be better,
"anyway" said joe disregardingly, "what do we do about luke, i think we should keep an eye on him" "yes good idea" replied tom,
so the next morning everyone started working on the walls. except louise who said she felt ill, and was eating gravy and sugered almond sandwiches, even emily was feeling better, and helping out best she could, "carlos really seems to like her" said becca,
while stacking rocks, and occasionly leaning into a icecream tub, to throw up for a minute or so,
"yes i think he does" replied robyn. just then there was a knock on the now vast gates, "i'll go see who it is" said jo c,
"hello" she said, as she opened the gates, to see a girl standing there chewing gum, "hi i'm sexy bexy" said bex,
"oh right come in then" said jo c, "what are you doing here?" asked emily, not looking happy atall,
"can't your best mate come and visit" replied bex sarcastically, "anyway you owe me a favour" she added,
"and whats that" inquired becca, "none of your buisness" snapped bex, "now now" butted in joe, "we won't have any upset on my farm, what is the problem emily? and why are you here?" he asked bex, "i just wanted to get away from the city" she said quite innocently.
so by the end of the day, they had 3 walls up!!! "i must say, i am very gratefull for your help" said joe, looking at matt and terrence,
"yes i have quite enjoyed it" replied matt smiling, and looking in vikis direction, "yes it has been fun" added terrence,
"right, now the wolves must be getting close by now" said joe thinking hard, "i think we should send out a rider, to scout out their location" "yes good idea" said robyn, back indoors dinner was on the go, and louise was feeling rather sick again,
"i'm not right atall" she said quivering and shaking, on a sofa, "i think we should take your temperature" said reena wisely,
"well i aint doing it" said wilko lounging on the settee, legs spread drinking a cupa, "your such a lazy bastard" shouted louise,
"yeah well, i'm just geting in role" replied wilko smartly,
"right, come on then people, to the pub and beyond" said joe looking very excited, "yes and may a good time be had by all" added jess, "just one thing before we go" asked tim, "who they hell are you?" he said looking at joe, "look mate" said joe now quite irate,
i am joe, the owner and dictater of this farm, now never ask who i am again,OK?" "well i don't remember you but ok" replied tim bemused again, so off to the pub they went, even luke went along, "right lets get started" said reena, organising the darts again,
so as the evening wore on, and the pumps and fridges began to empty, and people began to throw things at sarah, due to her apalling singing, "i think i will go get some more beers" said ellie heading for the basement stairs,
down in the basement all was dark ans quiet. "eeellllllie" came an eerie voice, from the darkness of barrels, "whos their?" called ellie, "wh ydid you kill me ellie, i had done nothing wrong" "oh shit" screamed ellie heading for the door,
"oh no you don't" whispered the voice, "fair is fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..................................................
NEXT CHAPTER, WHO GIVES A F*#*K
Sunday, 21 January 2001
Fields of Nozzles - Part 18
"right come along now everyone" said ellie loudly, "gather your things and get out of my pub" "right lets go guys"
said joe, "before things go down hill" back at the farmhouse, it was time for a quick cupa before bed,
"i think we shall have nozzle leaf tea tonight" said jo, "tomorrow we will talk to emily" said ingham, "she has some bad news i think" "yes we must find out whats been happening" replied joe. "tim it is your turn to guard, in the watch tower"
"sorry who are you" asked tim bemused, "i'm joe i run this farm, do you not remember me?" said joe suprised,
"i've never seen you before in my life, but ok then" answered tim, so off went tim to the tower, while everyone else went to bed, "right night all" said joe, "robyn, jo c, its your turn to stay up tonight" "rightoh" said robyn, i will get the games out"
the next morning, after breakfast it was time to get back to work on the perimeter walls, "i'm just going to the barn"
said robyn, heading for the door, "yeah i will go too" said julia, going after her, "i wonder what their up to" asked james,
just then there was a knock on the door, "i'll get it" said viki opening the door, "hello i'm matt" said a dark athletic man,
"may i have some water" "yes of course" replied viki, "come in" "why are you here?" asked sarah, "i have been running round the world" replied matt, "it is very hard work" "may i ask why" said joe, pondering the idea of running round the entire world, "well its for charity, but i am slightly lost, and need somwhere to crash for a few days" "your welcome to stay here"
said viki hurriedly, "yes by all means" added joe, "you are more than welcome, all i ask is that you pitch in while you are here, we are having a few problems with wolves" "yes thats fine" replied matt, "anything to help, infact i ran into those nasty wolves on the way here" "i hope you didn't come to any grief" said tom, "well they ate my mate and my spare shoes"
replied matt looking sad, "well we are building a vast defense system to protect us from them, so you will be quite safe here" said joe in an important voice,
meanwhile in the barn, "oh robyn my lust for you is so strong" said julia breathing hard, "i know and me for you" replied robyn, "but we must be carefull" "but its so good" answered julia, "i know i know" said robyn.
outside everyone had started on the wall, "later on when emily has woken" said joe, "we will go and speak with her"
"yes good idea" replied jeni, "where do you want me?" asked matt eager to get started, "right you go and help tom and luke collect some more rocks" said joe, glad of the extra help, "you ok luke" asked tom looking worried, "you seem a little tense" "I'M FINE OK, STOP ASKING ME!!" "ok ok only asking" said tom, "sorry tom, i'm not feeling myself today" said luke
twitching violently,
so by lunch time, they had finished two walls, "right well we should be safe for the moment" said joe, looking very pleased,
"it will take them several days to get round the other side, by which time we should of finished them too"
"lets see how emily is, why i get some dinner on" said alion, "yes good idea" said sarah, "right lets go guys" said joe,
walking off down the lane, indoors alion put some dinner on, "is toast and tortillas ok" she asked, "with cheese and chilli sauce of course" "sounds good" said arthur, always hungry. upstair emily was feeling much better,
everyone piled in to hear her what she had to say, "so come on then emily" said james impatiently, "did they torture you?"
"james!! don't be so insensitive" said debbie, "all of you be quite, and listen please" said joe trying to calm everyones excitment,
"well" began emily, "i was feeding the horses, to help out viki and louise, and suddenly there was this bright light,
and it was coming from the spacecraft, then i guess i must of passed out or somthing, coz next thing i knew i was inside this huge room, and there was luke strapped to this huge camel, and he was moaning, i never saw him after that"
"what about wendy" asked emma, looking hopefull, "yes i was getting to that" said emily, "i never saw her properly,
but i saw some strange beings, who all looked like neil sadaka, wheeling what looked like bits of wendy, on a big trolly"
"oh no" said emma weeping, "its ok" said jeni comfortingly, "we didn't like her anyway"
so i was in this huge room, for ages and no-one came to talk to me or anything, i must of been their for a couple of days,
and then two neil sadaka lookalikes, came over to me, and made me eat what looked like purple flaun,
but it tasted rather like shellfish. "what was the room like?" asked mark, "well it was paneled out quite nicely in mahogany wood effect shiplap, and the floor were those nice vaneer strips from wickes, i felt there was a lot of scandanavian influence,
in the room,
so after emily had finished her story, everyone pondered on it, "so i wonder what they did to luke" said tom,
"yes you say you don't remember anything luke" asked joe, "well i seem to remember the camel vaigly,
replied luke, "but nothing after that" "well come along now everyone" said joe, "this won't get anything done"
so after their lovely lunch, prepared by alion, it was time to get back to work, so outside everyone got stuck in, just then,
something came through the gate, it was a large dinosaur, "hello i'm terrance" said the prehistoric beast, "hello" said jeni,
"i'm jeni" "can i be of any assistance" asked terrance, "yes you could help us build these walls" replied joe,
"my pleasure" answered terrance.
so after they had nearly finished the third wall, it was time for dinner and then some more darts action,
so ellie and rii went off to open up, and sarah went with them, "i was wondering" said sarah to ellie, "could i have a job at your pub, as a caberet singer?" "yes i don't see why not" replied ellie, "it sounds like good fun"
back at the house dinner was on the way, "wheres louise gone" asked alion, "she went to the chemist i think" replied viki,
"yes can i have a pregnancy test please!!!" said louise. "right lets go people" said joe looking forward to a good laugh,
and off they all went, except for luke, who had strangely nipped off somwhere!!!!!...............................
NEXT CHAPTER, THE WALLS ARE FINISHED. EMILY RECOVERS, LOUISE IS NOT WELL ATAL!???
AND WILKO GIVES IT SOME LIP!
said joe, "before things go down hill" back at the farmhouse, it was time for a quick cupa before bed,
"i think we shall have nozzle leaf tea tonight" said jo, "tomorrow we will talk to emily" said ingham, "she has some bad news i think" "yes we must find out whats been happening" replied joe. "tim it is your turn to guard, in the watch tower"
"sorry who are you" asked tim bemused, "i'm joe i run this farm, do you not remember me?" said joe suprised,
"i've never seen you before in my life, but ok then" answered tim, so off went tim to the tower, while everyone else went to bed, "right night all" said joe, "robyn, jo c, its your turn to stay up tonight" "rightoh" said robyn, i will get the games out"
the next morning, after breakfast it was time to get back to work on the perimeter walls, "i'm just going to the barn"
said robyn, heading for the door, "yeah i will go too" said julia, going after her, "i wonder what their up to" asked james,
just then there was a knock on the door, "i'll get it" said viki opening the door, "hello i'm matt" said a dark athletic man,
"may i have some water" "yes of course" replied viki, "come in" "why are you here?" asked sarah, "i have been running round the world" replied matt, "it is very hard work" "may i ask why" said joe, pondering the idea of running round the entire world, "well its for charity, but i am slightly lost, and need somwhere to crash for a few days" "your welcome to stay here"
said viki hurriedly, "yes by all means" added joe, "you are more than welcome, all i ask is that you pitch in while you are here, we are having a few problems with wolves" "yes thats fine" replied matt, "anything to help, infact i ran into those nasty wolves on the way here" "i hope you didn't come to any grief" said tom, "well they ate my mate and my spare shoes"
replied matt looking sad, "well we are building a vast defense system to protect us from them, so you will be quite safe here" said joe in an important voice,
meanwhile in the barn, "oh robyn my lust for you is so strong" said julia breathing hard, "i know and me for you" replied robyn, "but we must be carefull" "but its so good" answered julia, "i know i know" said robyn.
outside everyone had started on the wall, "later on when emily has woken" said joe, "we will go and speak with her"
"yes good idea" replied jeni, "where do you want me?" asked matt eager to get started, "right you go and help tom and luke collect some more rocks" said joe, glad of the extra help, "you ok luke" asked tom looking worried, "you seem a little tense" "I'M FINE OK, STOP ASKING ME!!" "ok ok only asking" said tom, "sorry tom, i'm not feeling myself today" said luke
twitching violently,
so by lunch time, they had finished two walls, "right well we should be safe for the moment" said joe, looking very pleased,
"it will take them several days to get round the other side, by which time we should of finished them too"
"lets see how emily is, why i get some dinner on" said alion, "yes good idea" said sarah, "right lets go guys" said joe,
walking off down the lane, indoors alion put some dinner on, "is toast and tortillas ok" she asked, "with cheese and chilli sauce of course" "sounds good" said arthur, always hungry. upstair emily was feeling much better,
everyone piled in to hear her what she had to say, "so come on then emily" said james impatiently, "did they torture you?"
"james!! don't be so insensitive" said debbie, "all of you be quite, and listen please" said joe trying to calm everyones excitment,
"well" began emily, "i was feeding the horses, to help out viki and louise, and suddenly there was this bright light,
and it was coming from the spacecraft, then i guess i must of passed out or somthing, coz next thing i knew i was inside this huge room, and there was luke strapped to this huge camel, and he was moaning, i never saw him after that"
"what about wendy" asked emma, looking hopefull, "yes i was getting to that" said emily, "i never saw her properly,
but i saw some strange beings, who all looked like neil sadaka, wheeling what looked like bits of wendy, on a big trolly"
"oh no" said emma weeping, "its ok" said jeni comfortingly, "we didn't like her anyway"
so i was in this huge room, for ages and no-one came to talk to me or anything, i must of been their for a couple of days,
and then two neil sadaka lookalikes, came over to me, and made me eat what looked like purple flaun,
but it tasted rather like shellfish. "what was the room like?" asked mark, "well it was paneled out quite nicely in mahogany wood effect shiplap, and the floor were those nice vaneer strips from wickes, i felt there was a lot of scandanavian influence,
in the room,
so after emily had finished her story, everyone pondered on it, "so i wonder what they did to luke" said tom,
"yes you say you don't remember anything luke" asked joe, "well i seem to remember the camel vaigly,
replied luke, "but nothing after that" "well come along now everyone" said joe, "this won't get anything done"
so after their lovely lunch, prepared by alion, it was time to get back to work, so outside everyone got stuck in, just then,
something came through the gate, it was a large dinosaur, "hello i'm terrance" said the prehistoric beast, "hello" said jeni,
"i'm jeni" "can i be of any assistance" asked terrance, "yes you could help us build these walls" replied joe,
"my pleasure" answered terrance.
so after they had nearly finished the third wall, it was time for dinner and then some more darts action,
so ellie and rii went off to open up, and sarah went with them, "i was wondering" said sarah to ellie, "could i have a job at your pub, as a caberet singer?" "yes i don't see why not" replied ellie, "it sounds like good fun"
back at the house dinner was on the way, "wheres louise gone" asked alion, "she went to the chemist i think" replied viki,
"yes can i have a pregnancy test please!!!" said louise. "right lets go people" said joe looking forward to a good laugh,
and off they all went, except for luke, who had strangely nipped off somwhere!!!!!...............................
NEXT CHAPTER, THE WALLS ARE FINISHED. EMILY RECOVERS, LOUISE IS NOT WELL ATAL!???
AND WILKO GIVES IT SOME LIP!
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